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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29875680">Heirs and Spares</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanya_Deyja/pseuds/TrashKing'>TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Note (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arranged Marriage, Human!Ryuk - Freeform, Light is generally a bastard, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Wammy house AU, but happy ending incoming, lots of sexual tension along the way, mentions of A and BB, smutty sex, wicked games with cellphones and blowjobs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:27:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29875680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanya_Deyja/pseuds/TrashKing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>L and Light are all that remain of the first generation of Wammy House kids. L's the world's greatest detective and Light runs the House cultivating a new generation of geniuses into useful positions. They're rivals first and family second. But Watari suggests, in case of emergencies, it makes sense for them to legally be each other's next of kin. Light's not so sure he wants to marry L, despite the logic of the suggestion, but L's seemingly on board with the idea. Or is it his idea in the first place...?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>L/Yagami Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>371</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Updates Saturdays &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s cold today.</p><p>There’s a fog seeping over the grass that obscures the horizon and keeps the building darker for longer than usual. But all that said? It’s always warm in Wammy House. Light makes sure of it.</p><p>He wakes before almost anyone and, most nights, he’s one of the last people in the estate to curl up in bed. He takes a few minutes to himself every morning, his little selfcare prayer ritual, washing his hair, shaving his face, applying lotions and potions before slipping into something disgustingly elegant and chic. Light does long hours and he always has to be sharp but part of that, part of feeling hyper competent, is always looking<em> this good</em>.</p><p>Light has a routine. The cleaners work late nights, after the kids of Wammy House have fallen asleep, and Light makes a quick pass through the high traffic areas to make sure everything is the way he wants it. Assured things are the way they should be, and crossing one potential screaming match off his list, Light moves to the kitchens. The house chef and her attendants rise first in the mornings. Feeding thirty of the world’s brightest children is busy work and Light knows top quality brains need premium produce.</p><p>Watari espoused in Light the belief that life at Wammy House should, above all else, be <em>comfortable</em>.</p><p>When a brilliant child is well fed, well rested, and healthily attached to their caretakers they can focus on the important work of childhood; learning. If the children are distressed they won’t reach their full potential. And Light, frankly, can’t take over the modern world if his little super soldiers aren’t reaching their goals.</p><p>Everyone has a speciality at Wammy House. Linda can play over twelve instruments at a concert level, Julius can translate almost any ancient language you can think of and he’s working on cracking a few others, but Light? Well, let’s just say it became painfully obvious to Watari some time ago that for Wammy House to operate at full capacity they needed an equally developed genius to run the household and raise the children.</p><p>Light lives for this.</p><p>This is what he’s good at.</p><p>He has twenty masks, sixteen different voices, and six degrees. Wammy House is his kingdom and, from here, he can rule the whole world. Every year a child leaves, with their support, to take up a position in the real world they take with them a little of Light’s influence and a lot of loyalty towards him as family. Light wanted, more than anything, to have an impact on changing the world and this? This is how he does it.</p><p>Breakfast is coming along smoothly. Lots of food, as always, two vegetarian options and a full English breakfast with freshly squeezed juice or tea.</p><p>Confident Matilda is keeping up with his exact schedule Light moves back upstairs towards the bedrooms. He needs to wake his Lieutenants first.  </p><p>Near is still asleep but he probably fell asleep last. He’s a night owl, just like L was before him when Light was still a child at the house. Sleep is important for a functioning brain, but different people work on different schedules so Light checks the time on his phone and decides to give Near another thirty minutes to sleep.</p><p>Matt and Mello are already awake, milling around in their shared room in their pyjamas.</p><p>“Morning,” Light greets, a glow with enthusiasm.</p><p>“<em>Morning!</em>” The boys chorus.</p><p>“Ready to get to work?” Light supposes. “We’re running behind schedule, so I’ll need your help this morning.”</p><p>It’s a white lie but what matters to Matt and particularly Mello is feeling wanted, feeling <em>needed</em>. It’s not so strange for orphaned children. Mello’s eyes sharpen, nodding keenly, and Light gives his commands.</p><p>“Can you help everyone wake up and get ready for breakfast downstairs?” Light instructs. “I’ll get the big trouble makers but I can’t wrangle all the babies at the same time.”</p><p>“We’ve got this,” Matt assures, sticking a thumb up.</p><p>“I knew I could count on you,” Light smiles warmly.</p><p>The children all get sunshine.</p><p>Watari always gave them sunshine.</p><p>These are future titans of industry and intellect. Light is not keen on making any enemies. Quite the contrary; he wants as many loyal little brothers and sisters as possible.  The staff deal with Light’s exacting, ruthless, standards but the children are his project. His free range think tanks. And all twenty years of Light’s honed social training compacts itself into being their most wonderful, loving, big brother.</p><p>Mello and Matt, as two of the oldest, are starting to stretch their limits and the easiest way to keep them under thumb is to actively involve them in the running of the household. They act as Light’s lieutenants for managing the other children and they thrive under being trusted with such responsibility. Near fulfils a similar role but in a slightly altered capacity. Light makes a million little adjustments to best use the children in the house to his advantage.</p><p>As Matt and Mello wake the younger children and get them ready for breakfast Light focuses on their older, more developed, sprites and changelings.</p><p>Linda is twelve, just a little younger than Near, and she’s never in good spirits unless she’s awoken with a cuddle and a kiss. Matt and Mello are at a stage where physical affection embarrasses them and Near has never liked people invading his personal bubble, again much like L.</p><p>Light, personally, doesn’t like being touched. He’s not an intimate person. Before he learnt to masterfully change his faces for the people around him, he was a right disaster; always trying to win a game filled with rules he didn’t understand. He still doesn’t really understand sincere human emotion, but he doesn’t have to. He knows how to fake it to get what he wants. His whole personality is fluid, switching massively depending on who he’s talking to, but the simulacra he makes for the children is something he powers a lot of energy into making convincing.</p><p>They believe, in the depths of their hearts, that Light loves them desperately and only ever has their best interests in mind.</p><p>And, to a degree, Light does value them. So long as they’re useful to him he will protect them viciously but the only interests he has in mind, ultimately, are his own.</p><p>Watari might not like that, Light knows, but Watari knows that if he didn’t entrust the house to Light while he galivants with L across the world then Light would be a dangerous and volatile risk. Without something productive to contain the fury of Light’s intellect he would turn himself towards more underhanded pursuits. He would become a threat, not only to Watari, but the whole world.</p><p>It’s the double-edged sword of Wammy House; they make incredibly heroes and devastating villains.</p><hr/><p>Light doesn’t make the children pray. Many of them are orphans and while they have a lot to be grateful for it wasn’t God who dragged them out of obscurity. What saved them was the talent they all exhibited that brought them to the attention of the House. They brought themselves here, to a place where the food is always tasty and the rooms are always warm, and they shouldn’t have to thank any invisible bogeyman for their own hard work.</p><p>“Aren’t you hungry, Near?” Light asks the boy closest to him.</p><p>He keeps Near very close at the moment.</p><p>After all, Near is close to reaching his full, glittering, potential.</p><p>“Huh?” Near comes out of the wire piece puzzle in his hands and seems to remember his meal all at once. “Oh, right. I guess I’m just not hungry yet.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Light pulls his plate out of the way so Near can lean his elbows on the table, “Matilda can make you something later.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Near murmurs.</p><p>“That might be better in the sunroom,” Light suggests over the puzzle, “it’s fine and the light in here isn’t as good. You need every detail to untangle that.”  </p><p>“Right,” Near agrees, standing. “Thank you for the food.”</p><p>“I’ll come check on you later.” Light smiles.</p><p>“Light?” Rodger appears, grasping Light’s shoulder from the opposing side. “There’s a call from L, he’s asking for you.”</p><p>Light sits back, batting Rodger’s hand off him absently. Rodger never did compute how to express his affection without irritating Light with his physicality.</p><p>“Is it an emergency?” Light asks.</p><p>“No, I don’t believe so, but—”</p><p>“Then L will have to wait,” Light dismisses, “tell him I’ll call back in an hour.”</p><p>Rodger blinks.</p><p>He always hates being caught in the middle of the Wammy House heirs. L is, debatably, Watari’s greatest achievement and since attaining that title L has become a little spoilt in Light’s opinion. L was always used to getting his own way as a child and Light is determined not to give it to him unnecessarily.</p><p>“I’ll call him back.” Light repeats, firmly, to Rodger.</p><p>Rodger hesitates but nods as Light waves him off.</p><p>Light does not work on L’s schedule. He has his own priorities. L has Watari if he really needs something and Light isn’t going to just drop everything because L the Great and Arrogant has graced him with a phone call. Tsk.</p><p>Light takes his time sitting with the children as they finish their breakfasts. He then spends the next hour setting them up for a productive morning. None of the children have classes as such. Their curriculums are entirely self-directed. Some of them have supervisors in various on site workshops so they don’t hack their little fingers off with a buzz saw. Others have tutors who come to the House and yet more still have remote classes with yet more specialists the House pays generously for their time. Some of the older children have projects. Their passions often drive them into specific interests as they get older and Light is responsible for facilitating them to develop their skills in practical ways.</p><p>Lucy is working on a submission for an English based engineering contest, Marius is doing research on scallops with the nearest university…</p><p>Light takes his time making sure his priorities are comfortable.</p><p>Then, he supposes, he should lower himself to returning L’s call.</p><p>Locking the door to his private office Light opens the curtains with his smartphone pressed against his ear. It rings twice before L answers.</p><p>“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were dodging my calls,” L murmurs in that thick, lulling, voice of his. It’s deep which usually means he hasn’t slept for a few days.</p><p>“Am I or am I not on the phone with you right now?” Light responds, sinking into his chair and inspecting his nails.</p><p>“I suppose so, but that’s a technicality,” L argues.</p><p>“If it was an emergency you should’ve told Rodger. Or are you incapable of communicating your priorities?”</p><p>“I don’t call if it’s not important.” L maintains levelly, but his voice mumbles in a funny direction like he’s got a spoon dragging out of his mouth while they talk.</p><p>Light has known L since he was four years old. He’s one of the few at the House who remembers life before L turned eighteen. It means, in some ways, that Light can picture L in his mind vividly even after months of no contact.</p><p>“What do you want L?” Light sighs.</p><p>“No more sass for me?”</p><p>“That was the five minute argument, do you want the fifteen?” Light supposes.</p><p>“Not exactly,” L replies. “I need you to hack into a company server. Do you have your laptop?”</p><p>“I don’t need my laptop,” Light answers.</p><p>“I didn’t realize you’d finally become psychic, congratulations.”</p><p>“I don’t need my laptop because I’m not doing it.” Light clarifies.</p><p>“And why is that?”</p><p>“I’m not part of your investigation team, L.” Light stresses the point, fingers moving as if L could see them. “If you need a hacker pay someone. You have plenty of connections.”</p><p>“You’re one of my connections.” L argues, holding his stance. “You’re also one of the best hackers alive and I know this will take you twenty minutes.”</p><p>“Knowing you it will take me at least an hour,” Light snorts.</p><p>“That’s very cruel to assume.”</p><p>“If it was a twenty minute hack, L, you would’ve done it yourself.” Light calls him out. “I have things to do however so I’m not losing an hour to a case I’m not even involved in.”</p><p>“I’m sure the House won’t burn down if you disappear for an hour,” L continues to argue, “that’s why we have Rodger, right?”</p><p>“And you have Watari,” Light huffs.</p><p>“You’re being stubborn.” L grunts.</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> being stubborn.” Light shots back.</p><p>“Well, as head of family, I’m instructing you that this is a priority and—”</p><p>“And I work for Watari, not you.” Light counters firmly. “So if <em>Watari </em>wants to call me and instruct me to give you an hour please invite him to do so. He has my number. But I suspect he’s already told you no.”</p><p>“He didn’t say <em>no</em>, exactly,” L grumbles. “He just doesn’t like to get in the middle of us.”</p><p>Light snorts.</p><p>Watari has stayed out of their fights since Light hit puberty.</p><p>“I have to go L,” Light maintains, “good luck with your problem.”</p><p>“Brat.” L pops his lips petulantly.</p><p>Light twists his free hand into a fist but takes a deep inhale through his nose quickly.</p><p>“Goodbye L.” He grunts, hanging up before L can wriggle any deeper under his skin.</p><p>L always knows how to push his buttons.</p><p>But Light is determined not to stoop to his childish level.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Light doesn’t exactly have friends but he does have connections and, every now and again, Light likes to do a few things for himself.</p><p>Well…</p><p>That might be an oversimplification.</p><p>Light has a wide, extended, family through Wammy House. He stays in touch with a large number of the children who have since left the house. Some he grew up with, some he helped raise, and he enjoys spending time with almost all of them. But those relationships are practical. Light has a specific mask for those people and they’re useful to him.</p><p>Light has a very different mask for Ryuk.</p><p>And Ryuk is less than useless to him.</p><p>“Hah, gotcha.” Ryuk garbles across the headset.</p><p>“Eat shit and die.” Light grunts back.</p><p>Ryuk just laughs harder. “Another round?”</p><p>“Switch game.” Light decides into the headset, tapping away at the keys of his laptop. “Mario Cart, chess or poker?”</p><p>“Is that even a question?” Ryuk scoffs.</p><p>“You’re such a pleb.” Light sighs, clicking into their Mario emulator.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Ryuk nods along, totally unphased.</p><p>It’s nice to be mean with someone.</p><p>Ryuk wouldn’t like the clean, hospitable, side of Light. He would see the sham of it after getting to know Light in such a raw, foul, capacity. They met when Light was sixteen. They sort of crashed into each other while trying to hack into a government server. A little cussing and tracing later and they were arguing over a private chat room. A debate turned into a challenge turned into a joint effort to hack the traffic commission. It was nothing but red lights in San Fransisco for the next three hours.</p><p>Light doesn’t know, honestly, why he still talks to Ryuk but he does.</p><p>Maybe its just the smoke break between performances?</p><p>There is something freeing about being mean, like he wants to be, and with L so rarely in the country Light doesn’t have many worthy sparring partners these days.</p><p>“How’s stuff at your sweatshop?” Ryuk asks.</p><p>“You ever tried to buy Christmas presents for thirty kids with ultra-specific interests?” Light deadpans.</p><p>“I’d rather shrivel up and die.”</p><p>“Given how I picture you looking I’m sure that’s the reaction you’d incite in most children.” Light replies. “How’s your Dad?”</p><p>“Still wants me to get a real job,” Ryuk answers, “jokes on him; I’m not even real.”</p><p>Light can’t help it, he smiles, just a little.</p><p>“So about the Australian federal election—” Ryuk starts.</p><p>“Been there, broke that.” Light tsks.</p><p>“I have new ideas!” Ryuk argues. “Hear me out; we funnel all the electronic votes to a third party that doesn’t exist. I think we should elect Mister Dicknballs as prime minister, don’t you?”</p><p>“Sounds childish,” Light tuts, “and too small picture.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“We probe their servers, fail to get in a few times, pin the trace on the Chinese.”</p><p>“Oh fuck,” Ryuk laughs. “Aren’t those two in a trade war?”</p><p>“Now you’re getting it.” Light grins.</p><p>“See, buddy, this is why I like you; the ripple effects of your assholery can be felt for<em> years</em>.”</p><p>“I want you write that in my obituary.”</p><p>“Hey, no way, dibs on dying first!” Ryuk counters.</p><p>“Why?” Light snorts.</p><p>“I want hitting rock bottom to be the last thing I do in front of my Dad.”</p><p>“As if he’d come to your funeral.” Light snickers.</p><p>“<em>Ouch</em>.” Ryuk grunts. “But true.”</p><p>Light taps away, comfortable in the silence with Ryuk. Silence is, in Light’s perfect world, preferable to almost any sound on Earth. Then again, in Light’s perfect world he could have everything without having to interact with another human being, ever.</p><p>Some of his cohort used to understand that, when he was a child at the House, but…</p><p><em>Well</em>…</p><p>There’s a ping all of a sudden on Light’s smartphone.</p><p>For a split second Light thinks it’s a text from a long dead brother but then—</p><p>[FRONT GATE SECURITY PASS ACCEPTED. GATE OPENED.]</p><p>Light frowns, flipping his wrist to check his watch. It’s eleven PM, Christmas Eve, who comes to the house at that kind of hour?</p><p>“I’ve got to go Ryuk,” Light warns.</p><p>“Trouble?” Ryuk supposes.</p><p>“Maybe,” Light shrugs, “call you later?”</p><p>“Later.” Ryuk agrees.</p><p>Light closes the call on one of his dirty little secrets and slips out of his office.</p><hr/><p>It’s dark in the House, just a few cursory lamps on here and there. The cleaning crew have already covered the main foyer and are in the belly of the house. Rodger and Bart should still be in the main lounge setting up a few of the bigger presents Light ordered under the lavish Christmas tree. Light wonders if maybe one of them had to run an errand at the last second because of a faulty part or other emergency but, instead, Light slips down the stairs to find Watari easing off his coat in the foyer.</p><p>L already has his shoes off.</p><p>Talk about making yourself at home.</p><p>Then again, this is L’s home, same as Light.</p><p>“Hey,” Light greets, “look what the cat dragged in.”</p><p>“Hello Light,” Watari greets with that belly warm smile that still, to this day, makes Light feel guilty in ways he doesn’t totally understand.</p><p>“We finished up the case early,” L grunts, “thought we’d stop by for Christmas.”</p><p>“I suppose I can accommodate you,” Light jokes dismissively, touching down on the tiles off the staircase. “The kids will be delighted you’re home.”</p><p>“You won’t?” L challenges immediately.</p><p>“I’m not naïve enough to assume this isn’t a business call,” Light snorts, arms folding.</p><p>“Shall we have a drink, Light?” Watari suggests warmly. “Before we all turn in for the night.”</p><p>“Sounds great,” Light agrees, “but I think Matilda’s already asleep so L might have to make his own hot chocolate.”</p><p>“Please, let me.” Watari replies. “It’s been a while since I got to take care of both of you.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t have to at your age,” Light follows after him towards the kitchen, “if L wasn’t so spoilt for attention—”</p><p>“I’m an investment with a high paying return,” L counters, unwavering and straightforward.</p><p>Light snorts.</p><p>That’s always been the joke, hasn’t it?</p><p>Watari loves them, Light is sure of that, but in the same way they are projects to Watari. He spent a lot of money raising them specifically so they could make him a lot of money and clout as time goes on. Watari hates to draw attention to the fact but all the elder children of the House are acutely aware of the reality of the situation. It’s a harsh part of growing up in this idyllic little castle: at some point it inevitably clicks in your mind that you’re a investment and there are a lot of expectations heaped upon you to perform. Watari loves them, yes, but he expects them to be the best.</p><p>Light leans into the kitchen counter, the artificial glow of the recess lighting in the ceiling casting funny shadows in the space. Watari still moves through the pantry with confidence. Light keeps things organized just so and, in that case, Watari never has trouble finding anything he needs even after months abroad. L leans into the opposing side of the counter, slouching a little deeper than Light.</p><p>L and Light are twenty-six and twenty respectively this year. Light always thought their styles would become less binary and extreme as they both became adults, but L still looks cheap and scruffy even as the World’s Greatest Detective.</p><p>“Before we get into the heavy stuff,” Light supposes as Watari heats up the milk, “I am glad you’re both here. I’ve been meaning to speak with you.”</p><p>“Something wrong, Light?” Watari asks.</p><p>L traces the flecks in the granite, but Light knows he’s listening.</p><p>“Near’s almost there,” Light explains. “I think it’s time.”</p><p>“Really?” Watari hums, turning back to the counter.</p><p>“Time for what?” L grunts.</p><p>“He’s fifteen now and he’s been training to be your successor diligently,” Light continues, “but it’s reaching a point where I will soon have exhausted all practical ways to further his education here at the House. He needs to start his apprenticeship with you, in the field.”</p><p>“No,” L replies.</p><p>Light stalls.</p><p>He says it so matter of fact, unapologetic and unhesitating, he doesn’t even consider it.</p><p>Light curls his fingers tighter into his palm on the counter.</p><p>“If you want a successor you need to take responsibility for him at some point.” Light warns, voice as calm and level as he can keep it.</p><p>“Watari wants me to have a successor,” L counters, “but as I intend to live for a very long time yet I don’t have any use for Near in the field. He would be a burden upon my investigations.”</p><p>Light’s nails bite a little deeper.</p><p>“You told me to get Near ready, he’s ready.” Light growls.</p><p>“He has plenty of prospects, I’m sure you’ve raised a very intelligent detective,” L rubs his bottom lip with his thumbnail, not even making eye contact as he makes patterns on the granite. “He’ll be fine.”</p><p>“He’ll become a liability if we let him stew without any goals.” Light stresses. “Idles hands are the devil’s, right Watari?” He makes the argument pointedly.</p><p>Watari might not like to get between them but he’s created this stalemate. He needs to get involved and Light won’t let him pretend this isn’t his problem.</p><p>“I do believe we should discuss this, in detail, when we’re all rested.” Watari declares, hands still working placidly over the stove. “I’m sure L will feel differently once he’s had a chance to see how far Near’s progressed himself.”</p><p>“I think that’s a very naïve assumption,” L counters coolly.</p><p>“Look,” Light snaps, “it’s not Near’s fault you two royally botched B.”</p><p>“<em>Light</em>,” Watari hisses, warning.</p><p>“If you’re not going to say it, I will.” Light growls. </p><p>“Last time I checked, Light,” L raises his eyes, finally, to meet Light’s gaze, “the only person who still holds me responsible for A and B’s deaths is <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Light laughs cruelly, “I don’t hold you responsible for A’s death. That’s Watari’s fault exclusively.”</p><p>Watari turns back to the stove.</p><p>He doesn’t argue.</p><p>He doesn’t defend himself.</p><p>No one would agree with him regardless.</p><p>They all know that.</p><p>“We have something more important to talk about,” L declares, dismissing the whole conversation in one sweeping motion. “It’s come to my attention—”</p><p>“I’m not interested in meeting your needs until one or both of you are willing to compromise with me,” Light snaps, putting his foot down. “Unless you’re willing to discuss a real solution for Near and his future, I don’t want to hear it.”</p><p>There is a beat of silence.</p><p>Watari glances, almost hopefully, to L.</p><p>“Near isn’t my problem.” L maintains.</p><p>“I’m going to bed.” Light announces.</p><p>“Light—” L starts.</p><p>“Goodnight.” Light blows them both off, stalking out of the kitchen.</p><hr/><p>Life in Wammy House was not always easy or comfortable. Before the administration really got a handle on things you had a much smaller group of very intelligent, very hormonal, teenagers rubbing up against each other with less to keep them gainfully distracted.</p><p>Light still remembers it.</p><p>He was the baby back then.</p><p>The smallest, the youngest, the most volatile.</p><p>Watari knew Light was fast becoming a problem, a big problem, but he had yet to really knuckle down on the solution that would save Light and protect the rest of them from his undirected intelligence. Light was, back then as now, a creature with very little experience of genuine human emotion and in a small space with people who knew him very well it was easy for the others to push his buttons.</p><p>Beyond, B, was very good at pushing buttons.</p><p>From oldest to youngest, it was the four of them; L, Beyond, Able and Light.</p><p>L had reached that point, that peak, where his full potential had become apparent. Watari knew he has something extraordinarily special and he was beginning to wonder if he could replicate it exactly. Which was, in turn, putting a lot of pressure on the younger children.</p><p>Watari never did like giving out punishments but…</p><p>“What’s wrong Kira?” Beyond sung. “Did you lose computer privileges again?”</p><p>“Get lost.” Light grunted, curled up in the window seat. He was being petulant, but he was twelve. It was kind of his right to be petulant at that stage. </p><p>“Baby Kira fucked up,” Beyond teased, leaning into his knees over Light.</p><p>“That’s not my name,” Light growled, tucking his knees against his chest.</p><p>He never liked feeling crowded.</p><p>But Beyond loved a good argument.</p><p>“Really?” The elder boy grinned, leaning a little lower, encroaching a little further in Light’s space despite the growing tension in his shoulders. “I think it suits you better.”</p><p>Light remembers launching off the window seat and tackling the older, wirier, boy into the floor.</p><p>Beyond’s head hit the floor hard and that disorientated him long enough for Light to start wailing on him with punches.</p><p>“Guys!” Able shrieked.</p><p>L was the eldest and the biggest at eighteen. He made quick work of hooking his arms around Light and heaving him off Beyond. He held Light, panting and kicking, off his feet.</p><p>“Don’t.” L told him. “He’s not worth it.”</p><p>And with just that phrase, that idea, L drained all the smugness out of Beyond’s face in an instant.</p><p>That anger Light saw in that second, on Beyond’s face, should’ve told him they were moving towards disaster.</p><p>He should’ve known.</p><p>Light was always easier to make snap than L or Able. That was probably why he was the target in the first place. He was in an awkward place, growing in funny directions, and that made him easy pickings for Beyond. Then again, Beyond was also in an awkward position, shoved under a microscope. It was no surprise he’d start lashing out and, in some ways, he and Light probably understood each other best. </p><p>Light didn’t like Beyond very much before he left the house. Hell, even Able was hard to be around when his depression crept in earnest, but…</p><p>That doesn’t mean, in his heart, that Light wanted either of them to die.</p><hr/><p>The rooms for the children at Wammy House used to be bigger, closer to Watari’s suite, but in the early days there weren’t so many of them either. That means that Light’s room has, in effect, been the same since he was four years old. He’s got bigger bed now, a few different pieces of furniture, and most of his tech is in his office down the hall but, in some ways, nothing has changed.</p><p>Light hates these thoughts.</p><p>They’re so intrusive and ugly.</p><p>He hates them because, for all his intellect, he can’t do much with them.</p><p>He doesn’t understand his own feelings. He fakes them, every day, but when they’re sincere they’re too much for him to compute. He likes to walk away from them but…</p><p>Light is aware of his door being unlocked but he doesn’t lift his head.</p><p>Watari’s the only other person with a key but Watari has always been a deep sleeper.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk.” Light grumbles, curling tighter.</p><p>“You don’t have to talk,” L assures, climbing into the other side of the bed.</p><p>“I don’t want to listen either.” Light insists.</p><p>“You don’t have to listen,” L promises, hooking his arm around Light over the blankets and tucking up against his back.</p><p>L’s thighs slot behind Light’s, his chest against Light’s spine.</p><p>Light sighs, exhausted, and stews for a moment longer.</p><p>Light has a lot of…</p><p>He knows though, in his gut, that L didn’t want them to die either.</p><p>Being the golden child probably isn’t any easier than being the spare, right?</p><p>Light huffs, wriggling out a little from under the blanket and slides his fingers over the hand tucked around him on the end of L’s arm.</p><p>“I missed you,” L murmurs against the back of his skull, already sounding sleepier.</p><p>“I missed you too,” Light admits.</p><p>He’ll deny it if asked in the morning.</p><p>But what they say in the dark doesn’t count.</p><p>Those are the rules.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: Christmas at Wammy's and a proposal, of sorts.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>L is gone in the morning. Light knows it wasn’t a dream but sometimes…</p><p>Life is so hard sometimes.</p><p>Light takes his time. It’s still early and even with the children inclined to rise a little ahead of schedule this morning he should still have enough time to shower and get dressed the way he likes. Moisturizer, lip balm, cologne…</p><p>It’s been snowing most of the last week so it’s nothing but white outside the window.</p><p>At least white is simple.</p><p>Light checks the main lounge first. Rodger and Bart have done a good job setting up the bigger presents for the whole House and the smaller, individual presents, are all wrapped to Light’s exacting standards.</p><p>Matilda has been up for hours by the time Light enters the kitchen.</p><p>“God it smells so good in here!” Light encourages. “Are we on schedule?”</p><p>“The roast is taking a little longer than I would like.” Matilda admits. “We might be a little behind. Should only be forty-five minutes, at most.”</p><p>“No, absolutely not,” Light dismisses sternly. “Are the scones done?”</p><p>“Yes Sir,” Matilda nods, knowing better than to argue.</p><p>“Pancakes and scones, tea and juice, we’ll have a light breakfast while the kids open presents. I want everything else ready for a late lunch, are we agreed?”</p><p>“Yes Sir, thank you Sir.” Matilda consents. “It’ll be ready.”</p><p>Light runs into Watari as he exits the kitchen.</p><p>“Coming to check up on things?” Light laughs lazily.</p><p>“Old habit,” Watari shrugs, “but you beat me to it?”</p><p>“I did,” Light promises. “Go sit down, Watari. Have Rodger get you a pipe. Everything is under control. Just enjoy some time with the kids.”</p><p>“They were starting to wake up when I came down,” Watari chuckles, letting Light direct him towards the lounge.</p><p>“I better go supervise,” Light tuts, darting back up the main stairs.</p><p>Light hits the top of the stairs and heads into the wing where the majority of the bedrooms are. He pauses, just for a second, to hear some soft chattering behind various doors. There’s a little grogginess, to be expected, it’s still early after all.</p><p>Content with the mood of things Light checks the time and his list once more before sticking two fingers into his mouth and whistling hard and loud.</p><p>“It’s Christmas!” He whoops, hand by his mouth.</p><p>There’s a cheer and in the next thirty seconds a gaggle of children swarm out of their rooms. They’re still in pyjamas mostly but Light won’t hassle them to get dressed today. They’re just going to get food all over their clothes anyway and this is a holiday.</p><p>Linda gives him a big hug as she passes, Light rubs between her shoulders, and Julius and Lucy ask all the typical questions about presents.</p><p>Mello and Matt come from the back, two of the tallest at sixteen.</p><p>“Merry Christmas,” Matt chirps.</p><p>“Merry Christmas,” Light purrs warmly. “You should head downstairs, there’s a special surprise for you two and Near.”</p><p>“Huh?” Mello grunts.</p><p>“We have guests.” Light winks.</p><p>Matt glances to Mello, surging with energy, but Mello has already bolted off down the hall.</p><p>Watari and L are features of their lives and the older children always love the occasion to show off and snuggle up to the head honchos. Light perhaps has more power and influence over their lives but Watari and L <em>feel</em> special given how rare their appearances are.</p><p>Light makes a quick, internal, count as the children head downstairs. Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine…</p><p>Where’s Near…?</p><p>Light slips into his bedroom with a cursory knock.</p><p>“Near?” He greets, finding the teen engaged in a card tower at his desk. He’s obviously been awake for a while. “You okay kiddo?” Light supposes, hand falling between his shoulder blades.</p><p>“I heard L and Watari come home last night,” Near murmurs in that impeccably level tone of his.</p><p>Light sighs, shifting to lean against the edge of Near’s desk. “Did you just? How much did you hear exactly?”</p><p>“Bits and pieces.” Near answers vaguely. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop.”</p><p>“Eavesdropping can be informative,” Light forgives. “Did it worry you?”</p><p>“L doesn’t want me.” Near murmurs, straight to the point. “I’ve been trained for nothing.”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Light tsks dryly, “Near, do you want me to be honest with you?”</p><p>Near pauses, glancing up at Light’s face.</p><p>Light lets a little more of himself show in the expression and Near, unused to being privy to such a sly expression on Light’s face, seems fascinated.</p><p>“L is a genius.” Light agrees, curling his thumb and forefinger under Near’s chin. “But so are <em>you</em> and you don’t need to live in anyone’s shadow.”</p><p>“Watari said—”</p><p>“Watari wants a replacement for L,” Light agrees, “that’s his idea of success. My parameters are not so short sighted or limited. With your intellect you have the potential to become something much more exciting than just a successor to someone else. Whatever Watari says, whatever L offers or doesn’t, my priority is helping you grasp your full potential.”</p><p>Near glances away, digesting that, but leaves his chin in Light’s grasp.</p><p>“You’ll support me?”</p><p>“Always,” Light smiles, mask sliding back on as he withdraws his hand. “Just enjoy Christmas and trust that whatever happens we will find you a place to shine.”</p><p>“Thanks Light,” Near quirks the corner of his mouth up ever so slightly.</p><p>“Come on,” Light offers his hand. “I think you’ll like your present.”</p><hr/><p>Light leads most of the morning but, eventually, the children are aglow with their new gifts and Light can lounge in his armchair by the fire watching them tinker. Another year, more good memories to add to their little keepsake boxes…</p><p>Light does so enjoy it when a little plan comes together.</p><p>Some of the children fuss over Light but most of them are distracted by Watari and L. Watari has always had a demeanour that children gravitate towards. He’s not a genius himself, but he is clever and he actively engages with them. He takes an interest in them and makes them feel seen. L’s appeal is more of a sideshow attraction. He’s a legend to the children and they’re all keen to unravel or impress him.</p><p>Watari has sat Near between himself and L in an attempt to develop the conversation but Near is unlikely to get a word in edgewise with Mello and Matt demanding L regale them with stories from his latest cases. L is patient, more so than you’d expect from an eccentric lone detective, but he was raised in a house filled with bright children and though he’s strange and sometimes difficult he takes to the role of big brother with a startling sincerity that always catches the children.</p><p>L is not easily impressed. He does not throw out praise for every remark or relayed achievement. He doesn’t hide when he’s losing interest either. It’s a bit of a workout for gifted children who are so used to being the centre of attention. They want to prove themselves to L. They want to pass his test.</p><p>Light knows however that there is no test.</p><p>L cares about them all, as much as he is able to, but L doesn’t give anyone handouts. He doesn’t seem to understand that people need or want them. He is perfectly transparent and no amount of sucking up will win special treatment. L has one frequency.</p><hr/><p>It’s not till much later in the day, after a late lunch and many hours of games, that the three of them settle in Watari’s office. Being L is home they have wine and tiramisu both. Light cuts the cake with his spoon, plate in his lap, and Watari adjusts the fire a little hotter as the snow continues to fall outside.</p><p>“So then,” Watari joins them, “let’s talk business.”</p><p>“As I made perfectly clear last night, I am not discussing anything else until we settle the Near debate.” Light maintains, picking up his wine to sip.</p><p>Watari glances, hopefully, to L.</p><p>L sighs.</p><p>“Near, if he likes, can come assist me on cases. More as a PA than an active detective given his age. He’ll spend most of his time with Watari I would imagine.” L drawls, slicing off a piece of dessert with his spoon. “I have no time for complications however so if he can’t manage I will not hesitate to return him to you.”</p><p>“Near will be fine,” Light asserts stubbornly, “you’ve always been the difficult one.”</p><p>“Are we agreed then?” L asks, ignoring the jab.</p><p>“I suppose,” Light concedes, “provided you will outline Nears options to him tomorrow?”</p><p>“Watari can handle it.” L grunts. “I have nothing especially pertinent to say on the matter.”</p><p>“It’ll suffice,” Light accepts the compromise, for now. “Now what’s your issue?”</p><p>“I want to talk long term practicalities,” L declares.</p><p>“Oh?” Light snorts.</p><p>“Contingency planning.”</p><p>“I thought you intended to live for a long time?” Light teases petulantly.</p><p>“I do,” L counters, “but Watari is getting older and my work puts me in dangerous positions. Watari suggested this might also be of interest to you.”</p><p>“Oh?” Light hums.</p><p>“You formally have authority over the House,” L reminds, “and Watari’s will has already firmly established who will receive what from the estate in the event of his death. I have no interest in running the House, as you know—”</p><p>“And I have no interest in being a detective,” Light agrees.</p><p>“Right,” L nods, “but, likewise, if you were injured, became ill or were otherwise incapacitated it could put the House in a precarious position.”</p><p>“If this is about me finding a successor—” Light scoffs.</p><p>“No, not at all,” L counters immediately. “Actually, I think we should put measures in place so, if anything happens, we can act on each other’s behalf.”</p><p>Light pauses to consider that.</p><p>L is a difficult man but he’s also the smartest man Light knows. If something did happen there’s no one better equip to protect Wammy House and its interests. Likewise, Light can understand why L would want him to be able to intervene if he was shot or such during the flow of a case. It’s an emergency protocol they honestly ought to have considered earlier.</p><p>“How do you figure we’d do that?” Light supposes, cautious but intrigued.</p><p>“I’ve been exploring options,” L reveals, spoon in his mouth indelicately. “And honestly it seems like the most effective solution is to get married.”</p><p>Light chokes on his wine.</p><p>L tilts his head. “Are you alright?”</p><p>Light puts his glass down and laughs into his knuckles.</p><p>He starts laughing so hard he has to put the dessert plate down on the coffee table. “I’m sorry,” he promises between cackles. “I’m sorry…”</p><p>“I’m serious.” L deadpans.</p><p>“I’m sure you are!” Light laughs. “But that’s an absurd solution.”</p><p>“It’s simple, streamline.” L argues stubbornly. “Don’t toss out an effective solution without at least considering it.”</p><p>Light gets his laughter under control enough to ask; “And what do you think about this, Watari?”</p><p>“I think it’s practical,” Watari nods in that surly, British, way of his. “I don’t like the idea of a third party interfering with the estate after I’m gone. I trust you both. Your cooperation would be the best possible outcome.”</p><p>Light snorts, feeling slowly cornered all of a sudden.</p><p>“I thought half the point of L having a successor was having someone to take care of this sort of thing?” He argues.</p><p>“Well that seem unlikely, at least in the next decade,” L maintains. “I don’t trust Near to make those kinds of decisions. I trust you.”</p><p>Light isn’t sure how to say this…</p><p>Should he be nice?</p><p>No, scratch that.</p><p>“Well, personally,” Light starts carefully, “I’m interested in untangling our connections long term. I want to be independent of L.”</p><p>L frowns.</p><p>“I’m part of this.” L grunts. “This is my home too.”</p><p>“Yes,” Light strains, “but you don’t <em>want</em> to run the House and I don’t want someone telling me what to do.”</p><p>“I have no interest in micromanaging you,” L assures.</p><p>Light scowls, jaw tensing.</p><p>He leans into his knees, gaze pointed; “and are you going to police who I sleep with?”</p><p>L opens his mouth but nothing comes out.</p><p>“Of course not,” Watari answers before L can find his words. “Purely practical. Who either of you sleep with is a personal matter, this is completely about the estate and your safety.”</p><p>Light watches L.</p><p>L stuffs his spoon back into his mouth.</p><p>“I have some reservations,” Light maintains.</p><p>“That’s what a prenup is for.” Watari promises. “We can make some clear distinctions, as I have in my will, and if in ten years’ time you’re ready to shift the arrangement and give next of kin responsibilities to your relevant successors then everything will be in place.”</p><p>“I need to think about it.” Light grunts, refusing to make any decisions right here.</p><p>“I’ll have something written up that you can review,” Watari assures, gently pushing. “I think it would be best. It would certainly put me at ease.”</p><p>Light sips his wine.</p><p>He’s not sure what to say.</p><p>It’s insidious because, in so may ways, it does make sense.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: Mello causes a complication</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Light’s problem, in many ways, is that he doesn’t really have anyone to discuss this proposal with. After all he doesn’t have many friends, does he…?</p><p>Light stews, staring at his ceiling, arms above his head.</p><p>Ryuk is unlikely to understand everything he’s dealing with. In some ways that might lend itself to a more honest opinion but at the same time he might miss some critical nuance.</p><p>Light could contact another ex-Wammy kid like Eden or Art but…</p><p>Well, he doesn’t really want to involve them in this. They’d have their own priorities and while Light likes to use them he doesn’t want to make himself vulnerable to their own desires. An ex-Wammy kid is smart enough to try and twist Light’s decision to benefit themselves.</p><p>How should Light play this?</p><p>It does, practically, make sense but Light wants to escape the thumb of his elders and have complete control over the House.</p><p>Still…</p><p>Would L ever take advantage of the situation? He doesn’t care about the House anymore than Light cares about his investigations. It’s likely L would only use this during emergencies and other complicated situations.</p><p>Besides, it’s not like Light has anyone he could consider taking his place short or long term.</p><p>The children that live in the House currently, all thirty of them, are brilliant and well cultivated but none of them match his particular expertise well enough to consider for this position.</p><p>What should he do?</p><p><em>Knock-knock</em>.</p><p>Light hesitates.</p><p>He checks his phone.</p><p>It’s almost one am, but L would just let himself in so…</p><p>Light unlocks the door and—</p><p>“Mello?” He greets, confused.</p><p>Mello sniffs, eyes red rimmed, expression stern and determined. He’s been thinking again, thinking too much. Light tilts his head, confused, and Mello gathers up the guts to throw his arms around Light’s waist and bury his face in his chest.</p><p>Light grunts, catching the adolescent. He doesn’t like to be touched but the children and their needs take priority in that discussion. He grips Mello’s shoulders, steadying them both.</p><p>“You want to talk?” Light supposes softly, patting a hand down Mello’s hair, cradling the back of his skull.</p><p>Mello nods stubbornly into his chest, arms tight as little vices around his middle.</p><p>“Come in then.” Light invites, shuffling Mello inside and pulling his bedroom door shut. “It’s late, buddy, what’s all this about? Come sit down and tell me what’s wrong.”</p><p>Mello sits on the edge of the bed, next to Light and smears at his face with his knuckles as he gathers himself up for whatever he wants to say.</p><p>Light rubs between his shoulder blades gently.</p><p>“I’m getting old,” Mello growls, frustration evident.</p><p>“No, you’re not,” Light chuckles warmly. “You’re only sixteen.”</p><p>“That’s old by Wammy standards!” Mello stresses.</p><p>Light takes that on board.</p><p>Mello’s right.</p><p>He and Matt are the two oldest children in the House. Most of them have been shipped out to external program; early university entry, scholarships, space programs, apprenticeships…</p><p>“Why haven’t you sent me somewhere yet?” Mello demands.</p><p>“Well…” Light walks a fine line. “I’m waiting for you to be ready. Some people take a little longer to cook than others.”</p><p>Mello listens, knuckles white on his knees.</p><p>“You’re safe here, and this is your home,” Light promises. “I have no doubt you’ll be exceptional as an adult and I do have places I want to send you, when you’re ready, but you need a little longer to really grow. That’s okay, it’s not as race.”</p><p>“Where would I go?” Mello asks, gaze wavering. “My training hasn’t been very specific so—”</p><p>“Your training just isn’t as obvious as linguistics or biology,” Light assures.</p><p>Mello lifts his head back towards Light, curious.</p><p>“Your skill Mello has always been your social skills and your initiative,” Light reveals, still gently rubbing between Mello’s shoulder blades. “When you’re ready there are certain universities I have lined up for you. You’ve got a great future in politics.”</p><p>“I don’t want to be a politician,” Mello sneers.</p><p>“Not a <em>politician</em>,” Light clarifies, “an activist, a revolutionary. Politics is not all men in suits. I think there are a number of ethical and social movements you could give legs too.”</p><p>“What if I don’t want that either?” Mello grumbles, more hesitantly this time.</p><p>“Well, it is your future,” Light concedes, warning; “but I can’t guarantee you success will come as easily in other fields than the ones I’ve been preparing you for.”</p><p>Mello chews on his bottom lip for a moment.</p><p>“What do you want to be?” Light entertains the tantrum for a moment.</p><p>“I want to work with L,” Mello declares, “I want to be a detective.”</p><p>Light tries not to let his disapproval show in his face.</p><p>Other conversations, long buried, surge through his memory.</p><p>Fights with Beyond, with Able…</p><p>Long nights, tantrums, vicious shifts in routines and exacting expectations as a fierce competitiveness seized the whole House…</p><p>Light was never entered into the tournament for L’s successor and he’s glad for that. The whole debacle turned him off the idea entirely long before he’d even had a chance to become interested.</p><p>He hates the idea that history could repeat itself.</p><p>Near and Mello are two of his finest creations, expertly reared and cultivated in his little green house, he would hate them both to burn to oblivion flying towards L’s sun.</p><p>“You don’t think I could do it?” Mello snaps, catching something in Light’s face.</p><p>“It’s not that, Mello,” Light promises. “I think you’re capable of anything you set your mind to. I just don’t think you would be happy in that life.”</p><p>“But I want to try,” Mello stresses, determined. “I want to prove I can do it.”</p><p>Light sighs, uncomfortable and quietly frustrated.</p><p>Why can’t children cooperate?</p><p>Obviously Light knows best. He’s trained them. Why is Mello questioning him now?</p><p>Has Light not been attentive enough?</p><p>“Please ask L to consider me,” Mello pleads. “<em>Please</em>.”  </p><p>Light frowns.</p><p>Damn idiot boy.</p><p>“If this means so much to you Mello,” Light drawls gently, “I think you should make your case to L directly. You need to prove yourself to him, not me.”</p><p>“Okay,” Mello murmurs, nodding. “I’ll do that. I’ll talk to him.”</p><p>Light chews on his spite.</p><p>“Do you think he’s awake now?” Mello asks, cautious.</p><p>L rarely sleeps so…</p><p>“Probably,” Light admits. “Would you like me to take you to him?”</p><p>“Really?” Mello brightens. “Yes! Please!”</p><p>Light pulls them both up, lacing his fingers with Mello’s.</p><p>It’s important that Mello feel this rejection sharp and fast.</p><p>If Light is going to redirect him to the correct path than allowing him to fail in this ludicrous act is the first step. L barely wants Near to accompany him. He certainly won’t agree to another child in attendance.</p><p>Once Mello is devastated Light can recalibrate and set him straight.</p><p>Maybe this surge of passion will finally bring Mello into his own spark?</p><hr/><p>L’s office is dark and cold. L lives in a world of pixels and there’s very little but the glow of the screen casting shadows that deepen the recesses of the high ceilings. Light escorts Mello into the sanctum, using his own key, but L doesn’t lift his gaze.</p><p>“Yes Light?” L grunts.</p><p>Mello glances, Light nudges him forward gently.</p><p>“I—” Mello hesitates for a split second. “L please, I want to have a chance to work as your apprentice too!”</p><p>It surges out of Mello, so dramatic, but the whole force of it seems to bounce off L who doesn’t even react. Mello is, in some ways, just a teenage boy. More prone to this nonsense than Near despite their great intellects. Where Near is utterly abysmal in social interactions Mello has little emotional stability. He has the disposition of a passionate person, not a steady one.</p><p>“Why?” L supposes blandly. “Light already wants me to take on Near, why should I take you both? That’s unnecessary trouble for me however you look at it.”</p><p>“Because I want to be a detective!” Mello declares, his whole heart channelled into the phrase.</p><p>“Being a detective isn’t very glamorous,” L murmurs, “most people don’t even know I exist, have never heard my name, and I’m the world’s greatest detective.”</p><p>“I don’t care.” Mello stands his ground, fists tight by his side. “I want to help people. I want to stop bad guys. That’s what I want.” </p><p>“And if I tell you no?” L supposes, still looking at his screen.</p><p>“Then I’ll do it anyway!” Mello snaps petulantly. “If you and Light and Watari won’t support me I’ll go to school myself!”</p><p>L pauses.</p><p>Light feels something awful, something dark, roll over in his stomach the moment L lifts his head and really, truly, seems to see Mello.</p><p>Those eyes, that recognition…</p><p>L cares for many people, for all of his family, but there aren’t many people L recognizes with those eyes, that glance…</p><p>L never looked at Able or Beyond that way. Light used to think he only looked at Watari with those eyes. But then, all at once, L locked those eyes on Light and his life was ruined.</p><p>And now…</p><p>“Well then,” L pivots his chair towards Mello, “it sounds like you’ll be a useful asset to my team.”</p><p>Mello blinks, jerking up his head from the patch of floor he’s been stubbornly glaring at.</p><p>“R-really…?” He fumbles.</p><p>“Yes,” L nods simply. “I’d like you to work with me.”</p><p>Mello bursts into a relief, a glow, and all at once Light can see his potential peaking through.</p><p>No.</p><p><em>No</em>.</p><p>Not here.</p><p>Not like this.</p><p>“Thank you!” Mello reels.</p><p>“I’ll tell you the same thing I’m going to tell Near, tomorrow,” L warns. “I don’t have time to slow down or repeat myself. If you can’t keep up, I won’t hesitate to send you back here. People’s lives are at risk and you can’t afford to slack off.”</p><p>“I won’t,” Mello promises, “I won’t let you down.”</p><p>“Go sleep.” L directs, turning back to his computer. “You won’t get many lazy mornings when we fly out in a few days.”</p><p>“Right! Thank you!” Mello beams, bounding out of the room.</p><p>Light doesn’t move.</p><p>Light lets the door snap shut after Mello, his fingers digging into his crossed arms, and lets the force of his rage seep through him.</p><p>“Yes Light?” L permits.</p><p>“No.” Light hisses.</p><p>“You’ll have to be more specific.” L grunts.</p><p>“You cannot have Mello.” Light growls through his teeth.</p><p>“I’ve already agreed to take him onboard.” L maintains. “If you didn’t want to give him the option to work with me, why did you even bring him in here?”</p><p>“I wanted you to tell him no,” Light snaps, “I wanted you to break those stupid fantasies of his so I can put him back to work.”</p><p>“I see,” L murmurs.</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell him no?” Light demands. “I had to harass you to take Near and I’ve trained him for this. For you!” Light hears his voice raising but he can’t stop it. Can’t stop himself.</p><p>“I didn’t want to be L,” he grunts, “I wanted to be a <em>detective</em>. Just like Mello does now. If I have to support this whole process, I would rather take on a boy who knows what he wants than a boy who doesn’t question what he’s told.”</p><p>“You’re impossible!” Light booms.</p><p>“You’re the one who’s shouting.” L counters.</p><p>“Because you don’t care!” Light hisses. “Because it’s not your responsibility to keep them alive; it’s <em>mine!</em>”</p><p>“They’re people Light,” L murmurs, “people will never be totally predictable, no matter what manipulations you apply.”</p><p>Light seethes.</p><p>Stalking across the office Light doesn’t think, doesn’t hesitate.</p><p>He grabs L’s laptop off the desk and cracks the spine back the wrong way in one curt, ruthless, motion like he’s breaking the neck on a cat.</p><p>L blinks.</p><p>Light drops the ruined electronic on the floor and spins out of the room.</p><p>He’s too angry for words.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: Mikami enters the picture</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Light was six everything, everyone, was too loud.</p><p>He had learnt, by then, that he had to play nice to be allowed to do what he wanted to do. Even if he didn’t understand it. People, other children, they all seemed so exhausting and emotional. They felt things Light didn’t feel in ways he didn’t understand.</p><p>He had no patience for them.</p><p>He liked books and puzzles but…</p><p>People were not the ultimate puzzle then, oh no, they were the ultimate obstacle. A<em> nuisance</em>.</p><p>Light had learnt how to move his face to smile. It was a fake smile but convincing enough at this point that he could act out most of the social niceties expected of someone his age. Still he was small and there were times when…</p><p>The other children were playing a game.</p><p>Light had become involved but…</p><p>He wasn’t aware of his eyes skirting off into space a little too long, drowning out the sound, until he heard that familiar voice;</p><p>“Light,” L called, “I need your help. Can you come with me for a little while?”</p><p>Light snapped back to attention.</p><p>“Yeah, sure!” He chirped, sliding off the couch and waddling up to L who took his hand.</p><p>L was twelve, as brilliant as ever, and seemingly the only person who didn’t care if Light’s expression turned passive and cold as it was want to do.</p><p>L didn’t have an office then, but his room did have a lock.</p><p>Light followed him into the bedroom, watched L lock the door, and glanced around the books scattered everywhere looking for an obvious task.</p><p>“What do you need?” Light asked, pitching his tone just interested enough to pass as civil.</p><p>“You looked like you were starting to get tired,” L answered, crouching down before him. “And when you get grumpy, Kira comes out, right?”</p><p>Light blinked, afraid to answer.</p><p>“I’ve got a new modern art book I want to enjoy, in peace,” L explained. “But you can hide here, if you want, until you feel ready to deal with people again. Sound good?”</p><p>Light remembers sagging, the fight leaving him, the relief hitting him.</p><p>“Yes, please,” he murmured tiredly.</p><p>L nodded, smile tiny, and Light spent the next two hours curled on L’s bed while the bigger boy flipped, quietly, through his new art history book cross legged on the bed.</p><p>“I don’t understand people sometimes,” L spoke suddenly. “I feel what they feel but communicating myself with them is hard. Is it like that for you Light?”</p><p>“No,” Light murmured into L’s pillow. “I don’t…”</p><p>L glanced down on him, waiting, patient.</p><p>“I don’t feel those things. I feel different things.” Light tried to understand. “I don’t want to smile. But when I’m just me people are scared.”</p><p>“You don’t scare me,” L assured. “You’re just you, Light.”</p><hr/><p>Light sprawls in his bed, glaring at the ceiling. Arms extended out beside his head his fingers curl and extend, clenching and releasing fists on his pillows. Damn L and fuck Watari. They’re going to do it again and waste two perfectly good, useable, children.</p><p>Then again, what can Light do?</p><p>Children are replaceable, even those of the genius variety. Light will just have to cultivate more. He can’t control what happens to Near and Mello now. They’re lost to him, lost to themselves probably, and as wasteful as that is they’re not Light’s problem anymore. They’re gone and dead already.</p><p>He can’t afford to waste time on failed projects.</p><p>The good thing about not feeling right, feeling normal, is that people are much more expendable to Light. He has spent time and energy on Mello and Near but just like weed he can pull them out and move on.</p><p>Light drags himself out of bed and spends his precious temple time getting ready for the day. Potions, lotions, ironed shirts and antique ivory combs…</p><p>In the mirror he can see Kira this morning.</p><p>He watches his face, the sharpness of his eyes, and tries, not for the first time, to push it all down. The children can’t see him like this. He’s too fierce in this style.</p><p>‘Kira’ was Beyond’s favourite joke and, even with Beyond dead the joke lingers after Light like a bad smell. The stench of Beyond’s corpse hitting the room.</p><p>All the children at Wammy House have aliases. Birth names are one of the first things the house strips away from incoming wards in the process of rebuilding them as loyal parts of the family. Everything external has to go. Comfort items, clothes, names…</p><p>Light was named thus by Watari but, whenever this nasty side of himself reared its ugly head, Beyond always called it, called him, ‘Kira’. The name became so insidious that even L used it from time to time. It’s as much part of Light as anything.</p><p>Light has to wonder if that meanness, that cruelty, is more his real self?</p><p>Light is a procession of masks.</p><p>Is Kira just who he is lurking under it all?</p><hr/><p>Light helps Mello and Near pack up in the proceeding days after Christmas. He smiles, he pets their hair, but they’re not his anymore. They belong to L now so they might as well be dead, and Light will be happier when they’re out of his way for good.</p><p>On the third of January L and Watari are scheduled to fly out of London airport to New York for a new case. The first case Mello and Near will work on as freshly minted Wammy House graduates. Standing in the foyer the adults exchange a few last technical details as Mello and Near say their goodbyes to the other children.</p><p>“Like we discussed,” Watari tells Light warmly, “I’ll have House legal email you a copy of the prenup. You can review it and if there are amendments you’d like to make—”</p><p>“I’ll keep on top of it,” Light dismisses as kindly as he can. “I’ll let you know my decision as soon as I’m able. I do understand the practicality of the proposal but there’s a lot to consider.”</p><p>“Of course,” Watari nods.</p><p>“The boys are taking their time,” L sighs. “Watari, can you hurry them along?”</p><p>It’s an obvious distraction but Watari has never liked to get in between L and Light.</p><p>“Of course,” Watari agrees, heading towards Mello and Near.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk,” Light grunts.</p><p>“You don’t have to talk,” L promises, “but you might have to listen this time.”</p><p>“Make it quick then,” Light sighs, arms folding as he watches the children. </p><p>“If you have some serious concern about the marriage then you should let me know so we can debate it.” L supposes.</p><p>Light groans. “You’re not even going to talk about the other night?”</p><p>“When you broke my laptop?” L supposes.</p><p>“Yes.” Light hisses.</p><p>“No, I have nothing else to say,” L shrugs, “and you made yourself as perfectly clear as you always do. Besides, I’m sure you’ve already let go of the boys. Right?”</p><p>Light sighs, shoulders slumping. “Yes.”</p><p>“Then what’s to discuss?” L asks, seemingly genuinely confused.</p><p>“Nothing,” Light surrenders this time. “Good luck with the children.”</p><p>“I think you should be wishing them good luck, I’m not the one who has to prove anything,” L replies lazily.</p><hr/><p>The House is quieter without Mello. The atmosphere noticeably shifts as children age in and out of the facility. Near’s room sits empty, Matt is without a roommate and Light has more space in the House again to expand. Not to say they don’t always make room for exceptional talent, the House can hold upwards of fifty children, but a smaller number is more conducive for advanced learning.</p><p>With Mello gone Light has moved forward his plans for Matt. The paperwork will have to be rushed somewhat but Matt should be able to start mid-year at MIT. Matt passed the aptitude tests with flying colours and he long since attained the equivalent of his high school certification. Even depressed a Wammy kid can’t really fail. Hell, Light remembers not being able to fail when he wanted to botch a test royally. It’s hard to be dumb convincingly.</p><p>Rodger and Matt accompany Light into London in March.</p><p>Rodger is attending Matt to update his passport for the flight to America where he will be sponsored by one of their connections if not another Wammy graduate. Light is trying to secure Sprite to supervise Matt, but the graduate is very busy with his space engineering program. Still Light will twist his arm if he has to. He’s been known to do that.</p><p>Light, meanwhile, has to make a visit to Swan and Tuck; the law firm which represent Wammy House and its interests.</p><p>They have a lot of money and, as such, Light rather expects to receive the royal treatment when he rolls up to the reception desk. Sure enough he’s waiting no more than three minutes before a handsome man comes to escort him into a private office.</p><p>“Mister Quillish?” The man greets, offering his hand to shake.</p><p>“Yagami, technically.” He replies with a curt shake. “But I’d rather you call me Light. I don’t use my birth name unless it’s strictly necessary.”</p><p>“Of course,” the lawyer concedes. “My name is Teru Mikami. Mister King has recently retired so the firm has asked me to take over managing your file. Mister Swan has explained to me some of the specifics but forgive me if I still have some things to learn.”</p><p>“I’ll whip you into shape.” Light smirks. “Just don’t expect me to repeat myself.”</p><p>“Of course not, Light,” MIkami extends his arm. “Please, this way.”</p><p>Mikami takes his coat and Light sinks into a padded chair in a warm, clean, office with the practiced elegance he’s known for. Legs crossing he takes in Mikami’s certifications and degrees lining the wall. He’s obviously quite decorated for his age. Light even recognises the flourishes of several institutes they send Wammy graduates too.</p><p>“So, Light, where would you like to start?” Mikami invites.</p><p>“Let’s start with the upcoming adoption.” Light clasps his hands over his knee.</p><p>“The adoption process is moving along smoothly. Romania is… laxer in some regards than the UK. You should be able to claim Natasha and bring her home by April. The adoption agency has agreed to waive the welfare check given Wammy House’s glittering reputation so that will save us even more time.”</p><p>“Good,” Light nods, “I sense a but?”</p><p>“No, nothing major,” Mikami promises. “But the orphanage where Natasha is currently housed have notified us she had a younger brother, Jonathon, eighteen months. They were wondering if you were interested in taking both children? Apparently they’re quite attached.”</p><p>“Of course not,” Light chuckles. “That would be absurd.”</p><p>Mikami pauses, glancing up from the paper.</p><p>“Our interest is with Natasha and her demonstrated intellect. The brother is a toddler, he won’t remember her in six months and without an older child he’s more likely to get adopted by some civilians anyway.”</p><p>“And if Natasha is distressed?” Mikami volunteers cautiously.</p><p>“She’s four. She’ll adjust. Especially in an environment where she can thrive.”</p><p>“Is that usually the case?”</p><p>“Oh yes,” Light nods. “We separate children frequently. We have limited spaced after all. But the selected children are rarely if ever negatively impacted in the long run.”</p><p>“Might I ask a simple question, so I can better assist you moving forward Light?” Mikami replies.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Is it not, financially, worth taking the risk that both children will be gifted?”</p><p>“Genetics are fickle and even children within the same bloodline rarely both meet our standards.” Light shrugs. “Not a bad question though. We must sound like a meat market.”</p><p>“You’re an institution. You have standards.” Mikami shrugs. “I just want to make sure your standards are always met to your satisfaction.”</p><p>Okay, sure, this one’s growing on Light.</p><p>He says all the right things.</p><p>“Shall we move on?” Mikami checks.</p><p>“Yes, please.” Light invites.</p><p>“I trust you’ve reviewed the prenup I sent over. Mister Quillish and Mister Lawliet have a variety of conditions and contingencies. What did you think?”</p><p>“Most of it I agree with,” Light concedes. “This is being done, primarily, in case of emergencies and to sure up the estate regarding our inheritances. That said I want to rewrite a few of your more standard clauses.”</p><p>“Please,” Mikami pulls over his keyboard, “I’ll make some notes. We’ll send them to the other parties to review. What areas in particular would you like to amend?”</p><p>“I want to strike the infidelity clause. First and foremost.” Light deadpans, straight to the point. “It’s not relevant in our situation and if anything it’s impractical.”</p><p>“Understood,” Mikami nods, taking note. </p><p>“And we can’t establish custody in a prenup, can we?”</p><p>“No Sir, it’s outside the scope of a prenuptial agreement.” Mikami nods. “Given your current situation you are listed as the defacto legal guardian and next of kin, in the event of Mister Quillish’s death, for all but two children currently under the protection of the House.”</p><p>“Good.” Light nods. “The will hasn’t been updated?”</p><p>“Not since the changes we discussed in February.”</p><p>“I want clause added regarding slander,” Light continues.</p><p>“How so?” Mikami prompts, typing.</p><p>“If Mister Lawliet takes any steps to damage my reputation, connections, etcetera and I have any kind of written or audio proof of that… Well, I want that to be valid grounds for divorce.”</p><p>“I’ll hash out the particulars for that, wording and such,” Mikami reassures.</p><p>“I want a second clause added that if Mister Lawliet invades my privacy through any kind of investigation or otherwise then that is also grounds for immediate divorce.”</p><p>Mikami nods, typing quickly. </p><p>“I want it expressed to Mister Lawliet that if he cannot agree to my amendments then we don’t have an agreement. I am unwilling to budge on these points.”</p><p>“I’ll make that perfectly clear,” Mikami agrees. “Anything else you’d like to discuss in regards to the prenup, Light?”</p><p>“No, I don’t believe so.”</p><p>“Then is there anything else I can do for you today?” Mikami stresses, turning away from his computer.</p><p>Light considers this.</p><p>Light considers Mikami’s fine suit and his dark eyes.</p><p>“I think I’d like your phone number.” Light pops his lips, just so.</p><p>“Sir…?” Mikami hesitates.</p><p>“I know a couple of nice restaurants and I come to London regularly.” Light smirks softly.</p><p>“I—” Mikami colours. “Just a second, Sir. I’ll get you my private number.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: trouble on Near and Mello's first case means Light has to take a stand one way or another.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Okay so, a wizard comes to you, an evil wizard.”</p><p>“An evil wizard?” Light scoffs.</p><p>“Yep and he’s just the <em>worst</em>,” Ryuk repeats over their voice chat. “So the evil wizard says to you—”</p><p>“What does he say?” Light drawls, already amused.</p><p>“He says; I’m going to take your dick or all your money! Choose now!” Ryuk makes sure to accentuate this with a ludicrous voice. “What do you do rich kid? Think fast!”</p><p>“He can take my money, obviously,” Light snorts, eyes rolling. “I can always make more money. I can’t <em>grow</em> a new dick.”</p><p>“No but you can <em>buy</em> some very fancy dicks,” Ryuk counters. “You seen some of these dicks? So fancy.”</p><p>“You should send me a link to the fanciest dick you can find.” Light tempts.</p><p>“Are you going to mail me a dick?” Ryuk grunts cautiously.</p><p>“No! Of course not!” Light lies through his teeth.</p><p>“Hold on, I’ll send you a link.” Ryuk cackles, obviously delighted.</p><p>Life has been relatively quiet for Light lately.</p><p>Natasha their newest recruit will be arriving April fifteenth with Bart, Matt is leaving for American in May, and Teru Mikami is a bit of a stick in the mud but he makes up for it by giving incredible head.</p><p>Light isn’t usually one for extended affairs. He finds attachments difficult to form and often he doesn’t see the point. He’s not saying he cares for Mikami but so far the sex is good enough that Light doesn’t mind coming back for the foreseeable future.</p><p>It’s certainly not Light’s first rodeo.</p><p>That said, if you asked Light what he really enjoyed the most, he would probably still answer a night in, playing games, and making dirty jokes with Ryuk. He doesn’t have to be anything fancy with Ryuk. He’s not elegant or intelligent or doting…</p><p>He’s just Kira.</p><p>And having a tiny, healthy, outlet for Kira is probably what keeps him from exploding these days. What did he do before he had these illicit chats and schemes with his partner in crime? Ryuk doesn’t even want anything. He doesn’t want sex or money. He just wants entertainment and mischief.</p><p>“Oh that is an ugly monster dick.” Light laughs, clicking through Ryuk’s link.</p><p>“It’s fucking hideous.” Ryuk grins. “Looks like my sister’s face.”</p><p>“She still dating that pop idol?”</p><p>“I have no idea how,” Ryuk snorts, “it’s like dead dog and a barbie doll got married. But, hey, so long as she’s over the pond in Japan she can’t judge me for my life choices.”</p><p>“Lord knows you don’t need anymore scrutiny on that front,” Light snickers.</p><p>“Amen!” Ryuk moans.</p><p>“I—” Light pauses, snatching up his phone beside the laptop on the desk. “Ryuk I’m going to have to go, family call.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, night ugly!”</p><p>“Night,” Light signs off the web call, answering his smartphone. “Hello?”</p><p>“Light…?”</p><p>“Near, is that you?” Light blinks, confused.</p><p>“Uh, yeah…” Near murmurs awkwardly.</p><p>“Hi kiddo,” Light replies patiently, brining up his laptop to check the time difference. It should only be five am in New York. “Are you alright?” Light finds himself asking.</p><p>“Well…” Near hesitates again, audibly sucking on the corner of his lip.</p><p>Light frowns, listening to the silence for a moment.</p><p>“Near,” he starts gently, “if you need me for something you have to tell me. I can’t read your mind very well across the phone.”</p><p>Near makes a noise, obviously uncomfortable but likewise seemingly desperate to speak on the matter that’s bothering him.</p><p>“Light, can…?” Near takes a deep breath. “Can I come home?”</p><p>Light freezes, stupefied.</p><p>“What?” He repeats indelicately.</p><p>“I don’t like it here.” Near blurts. “There are so many people, at all hours of the day and night, and I can’t… This case is difficult. I don’t feel like I’m contributing anything useful.”</p><p>“It’s your first case, Near,” Lights soothes. “You don’t have to be perfect right now. You just have to do what Watari and L ask of you.”</p><p>“I know,” Near sighs. “But I don’t like it. I feel uncomfortable.”</p><p>Light is surprised.</p><p>Near’s always found social situations difficult but his deductive skills are unparalleled for someone his age. Watari asked Light specifically to prepare Near for life with L, life as a detective. Light did that and, if they push, Near will likely be a great detective. Right…?</p><p>“Near, if you come home,” Light warns, “L might not let your work with him again, you understand that, right?”</p><p>“I know,” Near murmurs, sounding his age in the most painful way possible.</p><p>Is Near really not ready?</p><p>Or is this the wrong box for him?</p><p>What should Light do…?</p><p>Watari asked for Near specifically, years ago. They’re been preparing for this reality the whole time but now—</p><p>Light digests a powerful, disgustingly emotional, thought. A thought he shouldn’t be entertaining but fuck L and fuck Watari.</p><p>Light is done playing this game.</p><p>“Near of course you can come home,” Light switches tangents abruptly, pouring his most maternal sympathies into his voice. “If you’re not happy, you’re not happy.”</p><p>“You’re not disappointed…?” Near whispers.</p><p>“Absolutely not,” Light promises. “This just isn’t the right fit for you. That’s okay. You’re only fifteen. We can find you a perfect place. But it’s sound like, right now, you need to come home. Do you want to come home?”</p><p>“Yes, please.” Near strains. “I just—I’m afraid of catching the flight back alone and—”</p><p>“I’ll come get you if I have to.” Light swears.</p><p>“Really?” Near sounds surprised.</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Light reassures gently.</p><p>“Thank you Light,” Near murmurs, very small at once.</p><p>“Near,” Light directs. “I want you to hold on for a few days and do as L and Watari instruct. I’m going to call them right now and explain the situation but it might be a little while before we can secure you a flight home. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes, I understand Light,” Near nods along. “I’ll do my best.”</p><p>“Good, are you going to be okay if I hang up?” Light supposes.</p><p>“Yes, I…” Near hesitates. “I feel much better now.”</p><p>“I’ll talk to you soon Near.”</p><p>“Thanks again, Light, I didn’t know who else to talk to, but I didn’t want you to be disappointed…” Near confesses.</p><p>“You have nothing to worry about, Near,” Light assures, “my priority is finding <em>you</em> the perfect placement. My priority is <em>not</em> making L or Watari happy.”</p><p>Light feels more certain of his decision as he says those words.</p><p>His priority is not making L or Watari happy. </p><p>His priority is the kids. </p><p>Light gently disconnects from Near and takes a deep breath.</p><p>This will not be an easy phone call.</p><p>But, like he said to Near, he is the head of Wammy House right now and his priority is finding a perfect placement for Near not curtailing him into something for Watari’s convenience.</p><p>Light clicks through his contacts to L’s private cell number.</p><p>L answers within two rings.</p><p>“Light?” He grunts around a spoon.</p><p>It’s five am in New York, early for most people, but L rarely sleeps the whole night through so he’s probably having an early breakfast pastry.</p><p>“We need to talk business,” Light informs curtly. “Can you stop what you’re doing for twenty minutes?”</p><p>“Yes, of course,” L audibly focuses. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I’m taking Near back,” Light announces.</p><p>“Oh?” L snorts.</p><p>“Yes.” Light replies, leaving no room for debate.</p><p>“Since when is that your decisions?” L supposes. “I thought he was my problem now?”</p><p>“He called me and he’s unhappy.” Light reveals, holding his ground. “He wants to come home. He knows what that means and how that effects his apprenticeship with you and he still wants to come home. So I’m bringing him home.”</p><p>“Well if Near doesn’t want to be here, I don’t much care,” L confesses. “That said Watari has a vested interest in the matter and he is Near’s primary legal guardian, technically. What should I tell him?”</p><p>“Near is fifteen and he’s expressed that he doesn’t want to be involved in a criminal investigation.” Light replies sternly. “I will argue that point with any judge Watari wants to take this in front of, should it come to that, but Watari should be sensible enough to trust my judgement.”</p><p>“Your judgement?” L repeats.</p><p>“You’re the detective,” Light nods, “I run the House and oversee our assets. Watari gave me that position because I know what’s best for the children and our interests. He needs to trust me now when I say that Near is not a good fit for your apprentice.”</p><p>“He seems to think otherwise.” L murmurs, tiptoeing a certain tone.</p><p>“Then he’s wrong,” Light asserts firmly.</p><p>L laughs.</p><p>Light hesitates, just for a second.</p><p>“I think you’re right, Light,” L replies suddenly. “I’ll support your decision on this. Whatever Watari may think I agree with your assessment. I’ve been developing the same theory myself.”</p><p>Light feels his shoulders ease ever so slightly. </p><p>“Should I expect you out here soon?” L supposes.</p><p>“I’ll be catching the next flight to New York to bring Near home.” Light nods. “Please try and explain the situation to Watari before I arrive.”</p><p>“Of course,” L snorts amusedly, “if you send me your flight details I’ll have an assistant drive to pick you up and bring you here to site.”</p><hr/><p>It takes twelve hours to organize the House for Light’s short absence and then a further twelve hours, counting customs and immigration, to fly to New York.</p><p>Light is tried and irritable when he lands but he’s prepared for any argument that might await him in L’s lavish offices.</p><p>“Mister Yagami?” A rather attractive American woman greets him. “L sent me,” she introduces, offering her hand. “My name’s Naomi Misora.”</p><p>“Hello, please call me Light,” he greets. “After everything L’s told me about you I feel like we’re already friends.”</p><p>“Well that’s something because L never tells me anything about his people,” Naomi jokes amicably. “Did you bring much luggage?”</p><p>“Not much,” Light assures. “I don’t intend to be here long.”</p><p>“Well let’s get you to the carousel and then we can head back to the office. You must be tired.”</p><p>“I doubt L will let me rest but yes,” Light snorts.</p><p>Naomi laughs her agreement; “sounds like L alright.”</p><p>In the car, with his luggage loaded in the back, Naomi confesses;</p><p>“I don’t know what you flew all this way out for but I’m assuming it’s a personal matter?”</p><p>“What makes you say that?” Light asks.</p><p>“Well L’s been locked up with Watari for a while now, I think I heard him shouting even,” Naomi confesses. “I try not to eavesdrop but when your ex-FBI it comes naturally.”</p><p>“And what did you hear?” Light tempts.</p><p>“This is about the kids, right?” Naomi supposes. “Near maybe? He’s a nice kid but he’s seemed really reserved since he got here.”</p><p>“And how’s Mello doing?” Light digs a little without answering the question.</p><p>“Kid’s personable and he’ll do whatever you ask him to do without complaining,” Naomi chuckles. “He’s got a real way of lightening the mood too. The guys on the case already love him. He’s like their little mascot.”</p><p>Light snorts. “Sounds like he’s really coming into his own.”</p><p>“So should I get ready for a screaming match?” Naomi makes her own leading question evident as charming and casual as her face is.</p><p>“If I were you, agent Misora, I’d start selling tickets.” Light winks but he’s not joking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: getting to Near is one thing, what with Watari and all, but leaving the investigation once L has him on the premise is another entirely...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>L’s working office in New York is quite an ominous building with formidable security but, then again, L does make incredible money. Light folds his jacket over his arm and let’s Naomi escort him up the elevator towards L’s private sanctum.</p><p>They pass through a rather large HQ with two other detectives and both of the Wammy kids.</p><p>“Light!” Mello cheers, bounding up to give him a hug.</p><p>“Hey Mello,” Light catches him. “You look so bright, I’m glad.”</p><p>“It’s good to see you,” Mello beams.</p><p>“You too,” Light smiles, “and Near too.” He assures, glancing to the other boy stewing over his computer.</p><p>“Hey,” Near grunts, obviously a little shyer with company.</p><p>“I can’t wait to talk to you both,” Light declares, “but I think I have to deal with business first. So I should probably go talk to Watari and L.”</p><p>“They’ve been all locked up,” Mello murmurs conspiratorially. “We’re not in trouble, are we?”</p><p>“Absolutely not,” Light promises, tapping his nose. “Just leave it to me. Things will be back to normal in no time.”</p><p>“Got it,” Mello nods eagerly, utterly trusting.</p><p>It makes sense, really, for much of Mello’s life there hasn’t been a single problem ultra-genius Light couldn’t solve for him or Near or really any of the kids.</p><p>Light hands Mello his jacket, ruffling the blonde’s hair one last time, and slips off to the ominously secured office. He knocks with the back of his knuckles, curt and brisk, and L’s voice sounds out;</p><p>“Come in!”</p><p>Light makes sure to lock the door behind himself as he enters.</p><p>Watari and L have those faces like they’ve been arguing for a while.</p><p>“Light,” Watari starts sternly, “please explain this situation to me.”</p><p>“Near is unhappy. He’s not a good fit for his operation.” Light comes, elegantly, to sink into a seat beside L. “I’m going to take him back to London and find a better placement for him.”</p><p>“You don’t think Near can adjust? Teething pains and such?” Watari frowns.</p><p>“I don’t think Near is suited to work that involves a high level of emotional understanding and socialization.” Light folds his hands primly in his lap.</p><p>“You’ve trained Near for this.”</p><p>“At your request,” Light reminds. “But I don’t think Near is a good fit.”</p><p>“He’s also too young to know what’s best for him.” Watari counters.</p><p>“And, with all due respect Watari, you’re not the expert on Near, I am.” Light replies firmly. “Likewise, Near is a child not a machine. He can be cultivated, he<em> cannot</em> be programmed to take on the role you think would be most convenient.”</p><p>“Tell us what you really think, Light,” L snorts amusedly.</p><p>“If you’re not going to contribute constructively, L, I don’t want to hear it.” Light warns.</p><p> L holds his hands up placatingly.</p><p>“You’re saying I should trust your judgement?” Watari supposes to Light candidly.</p><p>“Are you saying you don’t?” Light replies.</p><p>“Near has all the right qualities. We—”</p><p>“On <em>paper</em>.” Light stresses.</p><p>“Light,” Watari sighs in that condescendingly paternal way of his, “I know you don’t want a repeat of the Beyond and Able situation but—”</p><p>“And I know you think L is the epitome of success,” Light cuts him off. “But there is more than one way to achieve greatness, Watari. You can’t just clone L endlessly. He’s not one of your patents.”</p><p>Watari pauses, expression strangely pained.</p><p>Light hates that expression.</p><p>He hates causing it.</p><p>As a child he always seemed to disappoint Watari in the worst, most difficult ways. Intellectually he always excelled but emotionally he was always too difficult. It’s hard to embrace that now when Watari’s expression causes a twist in Light’s gut instinctually.</p><p>“L and I are the most proficient graduates, yes?” Light reminds.</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Watari agrees.</p><p>“Then I would advise you trust our judgement.” Light stresses.</p><p>Watari digests that.</p><p>“I just want the best for everyone, for the House, for the children, for you two.” Watari murmurs.</p><p>“We know Watari,” L assures.</p><p>“Leave it to us, Watari,” Light softens theatrically. “We’ll take care of this.”</p><p>Watari sighs, slipping off his glasses to clean them. “You’re right.” He relents. “I’m being too intransient. I gave you the resources to reach your full potential and you are, both, much smarter than I am. I need to not treat you as children. I apologize.”</p><p>Light eases softly.</p><p>Thank fuck.</p><p>“Then it’s agreed,” L clarifies. “Light will take Near back and Mello will stay here.”</p><p>Watari nods.</p><p>“I should organize a flight,” Light sighs, sagging back in his seat. “I’ll have Near pack his things and we’ll move to a hotel. You must be busy with your investigation, of course, so I’ll get out of your hair ASAP.”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” L grunts suddenly.</p><p>Light stiffens.</p><p>“You don’t need a hotel, we have plenty of space here at the office,” L grumbles around the rim of his coffee. “Besides, while you’re here I’d love your opinion on the case.”</p><p>“I couldn’t.” Light dismisses automatically. “I need to get back to the House.”</p><p>“You’ve already been gone fifteen hours, what’s another forty-eight?” L argues. “I just need your consult. It won’t take long to review the case and there won’t be another flight today anyway.”</p><p>Light frowns.</p><p>Damn it.</p><p>L is always so fickle.</p><p>He cooperates with Light’s interests only when it suits him and then immediately pursues his own. Still… It’s not <em>so</em> bad, Light reasons. He does want a good night’s sleep to settle himself again from the international flight. It would be nice not to immediately get on a plane again. Rodger is prepared to be without him for three or four days if necessary anyway.</p><p>“Fine,” Light surrenders an inch, “I’ll book a flight in the next two days. Until we have to leave for the airport, I’m sure I can assist you a little. But I’m not guaranteeing I’ll stay until the case is solved or anything like that.”</p><p>“Of course,” Watari nods.</p><p>L frowns but doesn’t argue this point.</p><hr/><p>Mello is understandably conflicted about Near’s decision when Light explains it to him. Light can see, like a good sibling, Mello is worried about Near and his first questions are rooted in concern but, slowly, Light catches a glimpse of Mello’s relief peaking through. It’s only natural. They’ve been competing and the idea that he might be winning this fight is appealing to Mello. Light doesn’t begrudge Mello that instinct. Light did raise the boys to be competitive, to strive.</p><p>Mello helps Near pack while Light reviews the case file and gets up to date with Naomi Misora and L. The case is complicated. A group of executives from three large companies who seem to have joined forces on an illicit venture to traffic young Latino women into domestic and sexual slavery in the USA.</p><p>“It’s awful stuff, makes me sick to my stomach,” Naomi grunts.</p><p>“I can see where they got the idea,” Light rues, “it is cost effective.”</p><p>Naomi blinks, clearly taken aback.</p><p>“I don’t support anything like this, of course,” Light smiles, “but this is the kind of cost cutting, lazy, thinking of corporate men.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Naomi murmurs.</p><p>Light pulls up his laptop and gets to work.</p><p>“What do you need L?” He asks, outright.</p><p>“A hack into their personal network would be useful,” L starts his list of demands, climbing into the desk chair next to Light by physically shooing Detective Jamison out of it.</p><p>Light snorts.</p><p>L watches him so keenly, so excited.</p><p>“It’ll be a few minutes.” Light warns.</p><p>“Don’t mind me.” L grins into his knuckles, watching Light unwaveringly.</p><p>Light sighs.</p><p>“Can I ask a question, Mister Yagami?” Jamison speaks up.</p><p>“Go ahead,” Light invites.</p><p>“Have you known L for a long time?”</p><p>“We grew up together,” Light replies.</p><p>“Ha! Really?” Jamison barks. “What was L like as a kid?”</p><p>“A little less insufferable than he is now, actually,” Light answers.</p><p>“Focus on hacking.” L grunts.</p><p>Light taps away. His fingers have always felt more comfortable on a computer keyboard than on those piano keys Watari tried to get him to pick up as a child. He and L were both alike in that way. As children they could spend hours churning through pieces of tech, very physically, before tumbling into the different layers of online sediment. Light was on black market dark web forums before most kids his age even had a facebook page. L used to thrill in playing the stock market and Light, to an extent, has dabbled in the same region but his passion has always been hacking and the dancing that comes with that.</p><p>The cold, elegant, machine has always felt like an extension of his mind and body.</p><p>“There.” Light clicks one final time. “We’re in.”</p><p>L smirks widely and, behind his shoulder Naomi whistles, “well fuck, he made <em>that</em> look easy!” </p><p>“Light is very good at this,” L nods.</p><p>“Copying their data now.” Light announces.</p><p>“Can you do something else for me Light?” L asks.</p><p>“Depends what you want,” Light warns.</p><p>“I want you to install two pieces of spyware.” L smirks, grin infectious and wicked. “One they’ll find and one they won’t.”</p><p>Light snorts. “You want to give them a panic attack?”</p><p>“I think we’ll move closer to apprehending them when we apply a little unspecified pressure.” L shrugs, still evidently excited by the prospect.</p><p>“Give me ten minutes to rig that,” Light replies, vaguely amused.</p><p>“Take your time,” L encourages.</p><p>“I didn’t realize you were always this mischievous during your cases?” Light hums.</p><p>“You bring out the best in me,” L shrugs.</p><p>“I wouldn’t say that,” Light tuts. “I wouldn’t say that at all.”</p><hr/><p>Once they have the data copied it’s a lot to go through. Both the boys head to bed around eleven, the two male detectives head home at midnight, Watari stays till one am, Naomi finally taps out at two am and, by three am, it’s just L and Light in the main office tapping away at their keyboards.</p><p>“So much for sleeping off your jet lag.” L hums.</p><p>“I’ll still get more sleep than you will.” Light dismisses lazily.</p><p>“And so much for your minimalist approach to assisting me.” L smirks.</p><p>“I hate leaving a job unfinished, you know this,” Light grumbles. “I know you’re using that against me but I am <em>not</em> staying until this case is finished. I’ll review the hack data but that’s it. I have a life, one that doesn’t revolve around <em>you</em>.”</p><p>L scoffs.</p><p>“Poor Watari might be—” Light starts an insult but L cuts him off.</p><p>“I always think it’s a disgrace your life doesn’t revolve around me.” He sighs petulantly. “I want you to revolve around me.”</p><p>“You want everyone to pay you attention, you’re a spoilt brat like that,” Light huffs, shaking off the implication.</p><p>But L won’t drop the implication.</p><p>“No, I think I would be satisfied if I had your full attention.” L murmurs, gaze pointed though Light refuses to turn into it and acknowledge it.</p><p>“Well keep dreaming,” Light dismisses, trying to laugh.</p><p>“Would it really be so bad?” L tilts his head in the corner of Light’s vision. “To be part of my world?”</p><p>“I don’t want to be your sidekick, L,” Light grunts, letting his tone become fractionally more sober with the honesty.</p><p>“You’re no one’s side kick,” L murmurs, like he’s surprised Light would consider using such a term. “Couldn’t we both be main characters? Partners?”</p><p>“There’s always a protagonist.” Light grunts. “Unless you want me to be the <em>antagonist?</em>”</p><p>“You can have two leads,” L argues, “in a romance for example.”</p><p>Light laughs, sharp and rude. “Well, when this becomes a romantic comedy, let me know, yeah?”</p><p>“Via Text or email?” L seems to tease in that deadpan of his.</p><p>“In that event you should definitely call me.” Light snorts.</p><p>“About the prenup—”</p><p>“God, L, it’s three am,” Light moans. “Can we not talk about the prenup right now?”</p><p>“You moved the conversation into an adjacent file. It’s only natural I should ask.” L argues.</p><p>“Fine, what about it?” Light sighs.</p><p>“Your additions,” L prefaces, “do you really think I’d investigate you?”</p><p>“I think you’d investigate all sorts of parts of my life, not necessarily me,” Light shrugs. “You don’t always understand privacy and appropriate boundaries.”</p><p>“I suppose that’s true…” L relents, tapping his chin. “But it’s not like you <em>need</em> to keep secrets from me.” </p><p>“Maybe I <em>want</em> to?” Light counters.</p><p>“You don’t trust me?” L deadpans.</p><p>“It’s not about trust,” Light sighs.</p><p>“Hmm,” clearly L doesn’t understand.</p><p>Light really needs to sleep, doesn’t he? And it seems like the night is devolving.</p><p>“Speaking of the prenup,” L shifts in his seat gently, “did you have a date in mind?”</p><p>To get married.</p><p>Lord it sounds so ridiculous sometimes.</p><p>“I still haven’t decided,” Light diverts.</p><p>“You laid out your conditions, I agreed to them,” L replies, still obviously a little baffled. “What more do you need to consider?”</p><p>“Well right now I need to sleep,” Light sighs, snapping his laptop shut.</p><p>L watches him stand up, eyes sharp.</p><p>Light isn’t discussing this right now.</p><p>“Goodnight L.” He shuts down the conversation.</p><p>“Goodnight Light.” L accepts, for now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: L gets a hint Light might be sleeping with someone, the newest Wammy kid arrives, and Light considers some long buried parts of his own childhood...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There’s a lot of data to review and it is genuinely fascinating. That said Light is aware he’s sinking into a trap and he’ll be damned if he lets that happen. L is so focused on his work that he barely notices Light slipping away from his station to help get Near suited up in his jacket and roll out their luggage.</p><p>“Light, I need you to—” L pivots in his seat, seemingly finally noticing their motions. “What’re you doing?”</p><p>“Our flight leaves in a few hours,” Light replies, returning to his station to close up his laptop. “We have to go.”</p><p>“We’re not done.” L grunts, gesturing to the piles of mess.</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> not done,” Light corrects, “I’m <em>not</em> a detective on this case.”</p><p>“You’re consulting.” L counters.</p><p>“I did some hacking. You have the files and the spyware.” Light sighs. “I told you this morning we had to leave at three.”</p><p>“I don’t recall that,” L huffs petulantly.</p><p>“Call me if you need anything Mello,” Light instructs over L’s head, “you too Watari.”</p><p>L grumbles. “Light—”</p><p>“Pleasure meeting you detectives,” Light waves to Agent Misora and the others.</p><p>“Light—”</p><p>“Good luck L.” Light brushes him off.</p><p>“<em>Light</em>,” L snaps.</p><p>The detectives freeze, Mello tenses, but L doesn’t explicitly raise his voice so much as tense it.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” Light snaps back, overtly threatening in his tone.</p><p>Everyone looks nervous but Naomi, for her part, looks intrigued to hear someone bite back at L with so much force.</p><p>L grips his calves tightly, knees against his chest, and his expression is passionate, stern, heavy but all at once L eases back, heat never fading, and grunts out tersely:</p><p>“Have a nice flight.”</p><p>Light blinks, surprised.</p><p>He can taste L’s frustration, still present, but the detective is backing down?</p><p>Light nods, twisting around to grab Near’s hand and start escorting him out of the building.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I made things difficult,” Near murmurs in the elevator, playing with his hair with one hand while the other grips Light’s fingers tightly.</p><p>“Not at all Near,” Light promises with a coy smile.</p><p>L’s not done.</p><p>That was not a surrender.</p><p>This isn’t over.</p><p>Light prepares himself for retribution.</p><hr/><p>Overall the trip to New York went well. Light retrieved Near without a huge brawl, he didn’t get trapped up in L’s case, there’s no competition to succeed L anymore wiping out the terror of repeating the Beyond/Able disaster…</p><p>Light can, finally, focus on getting back to work.</p><p>Matt is leaving for MIT in less than a month, Near is back in Light’s care and, this afternoon, Natasha, their latest recruit, will be getting off the plane from Bulgaria to come home to Wammy House.</p><p>Light has taken the morning in London.</p><p>He told Rodger he had some business to attend to while he waited for Bart’s return flight with their latest asset/orphan but honestly?</p><p>Well…</p><p>Light sprawls back, picking up his phone from the bedside, and starts scrolling through a few of his apps absently. Emails, his stocks, texts… His eyes flicker across a thousand pixels.</p><p>He pauses, gripping his phone a little tighter, eyes squeezing shut for just a moment as his cock hits the back of Mikami’s throat. Fuck, he’s good at that.</p><p>“<em>Hm</em>,” he stifles the moan, but that always seems to make Mikami work harder.</p><p> Mikami slurps adoringly and Light’s eyes cross for a split second.</p><p>Yeah, high achievers are delightful fuck toys.</p><p>Mikami’s complete enthusiasm towards being humiliated and objectified also makes him quite a perfect fit for Light’s crueller impulses. He wants a slave, in some capacity, someone he doesn’t have to be nice to. He’s never found a way to be ‘Light’ when he fucks. It’s always Kira.</p><p>Some days he’s all Kira all the way down.</p><p>Light’s phone starts to buzz in his hand. Mikami sinks down, the back of his throat flexing and spasming against the head of Light’s cock. Light glances at his screen, half breathless.</p><p><em>Lawliet</em>.</p><p>Should he?</p><p>L might still be angry.</p><p>The phone keeps buzzing and Mikami starts, cautiously, to pull back.</p><p>Light does two things at once.</p><p>With one hand he fists Mikami’s hair and presses him back down on his cock and, with the other, he accepts the call.</p><p>“Hello?” He grunts.</p><p>“Hey,” L replies, typing audibly in the background. “You’re not at the House?”</p><p>“In London,” Light stifles a groan in the natural pause as Mikami panics around his cock for a second, “I’m picking up the newest asset today. Why? What were you calling about?”</p><p>“I wanted to talk about the other day.” L states lazily.</p><p>“What—” Light tries to keep his voice clear as Mikami adjusts to the idea and starts, with some enthusiasm, to resume his work. “—do you mean? When I left?”</p><p>“Yes,” L grunts. “In New York.”</p><p>“It’s fine L, honestly,” Light dismisses.</p><p>“I wasn’t calling to apologize.” L assures.</p><p>Light scoffs but it sounds a tad breathless even by his standards.</p><p>“We solved the case,” L announces, “your data was very helpful.”</p><p>“I’m—” Light hiccups over a teeth tightened hiss. “I’m glad.”</p><p>“Are you…?” L pauses.</p><p>“Am I what?” Light challenges, trying not to make his smirk audible especially when Mikami freezes in fear and Light bucks up into his mouth.</p><p>“Where are you exactly?” L counters abruptly.</p><p>“Just meeting with a friend in London while I wait for the flight,” Light tries to catch his breath. “We’re having a drink at their apartment.”</p><p>“You have friends?” L prods.</p><p>“No one you know,” Light grins wickedly.</p><p>L is very quiet for a moment and Light has to bite his lip to contain the sounds trying to bubble out of him from every angle. Who knew antagonizing L like this would get him hard?</p><p>“Did you need something in particular, L?” Light almost pants, rocking into Mikami’s mouth a little more urgently.</p><p>“I just wanted to let you know I’m flying back to London this week.” L announces suddenly, tone fierce.</p><p>“What for?” Light snorts.</p><p>“Goodbye Light.” L grunts curtly.</p><p>“Bye,” Light laughs cheekily, smirk audible.</p><p>He’s not even sure he’s pressed the end call button correctly when he arches up into Mikami’s mouth and cums with a delighted purr, legs kicking out, head back.</p><p>Light really needs to stop picking fights.</p><p>Is he going to regret this…?</p><hr/><p>Light meets Bart at the airport with Natasha. The girl is very small, even for four, but her eyes have the same razor sharp clarity of all their fresh assets; too intelligent, but scared. Light drops to her level, hands on his knees, and greets her warmly.</p><p>“Hello Viola,” he smiles.</p><p>“My name’s Natasha.” The little girl warbles in hyper-clear English.</p><p>“It’s a gift,” Light explains. “New country, new home, new life, new name.”</p><p>That’s their policy.</p><p>No previous history, only life at the House counts.</p><p>From now on? Natasha doesn’t exist.</p><p>“Oh…” the little girl hesitates, visibly unsure.</p><p>“It’s alright,” Light promises, “we all get new names at Wammy House. I got one when I was little too, I’m Light.”</p><p>“You were adopted?” She strings together.</p><p>“Ahuh.” Light nods. “Just like you.”</p><p>“Where from?” Viola tilts her head cautious and curious.</p><p>“Japan,” Light reveals. “I was four too,” he explains holding up his fingers. “But you must be really tired. You ready to go home?”</p><p>“I think…?” Viola teeters.</p><p>“Can I pick you up?” Light offers his hands. “It’s a long walk to the car.”</p><p>“Okay,” Viola grunts, reaching out for him with her chubby little fingers.</p><p>He swoops her up, propping her on his hip. She’s quiet but her eyes track all the splendour of Heathrow airport as they head out towards parking. She’s obviously a little overwhelmed. They don’t need to stop at baggage claim; Bart took only an overnight bag and Viola has not been permitted to bring anything but her documents. Clothes, comfort items… All that can be supplied at the House.</p><p>It sounds cruel because it is.</p><p>The first few days, weeks, at Wammy House are all about snapping away previous attachments. The children, usually very small and inherently vulnerable, are forced to surrender everything. They become a new person with a new name and new family. Holding onto their past self and any loyalties inherent there becomes exceedingly difficult with the slow crunch of time.</p><p>It’s all strategic.</p><p>Assets can’t have ulterior goals. They have to take on the goals the House gives them. L endured the same, Light endured the same, and it’s a sacred tradition all the children partake in. Matt, Near, all the kids at the House right now will only use Viola’s new name even if she tells them her old one. They’ve been taught to brush it off. To see this discomfort as teething. Natural.</p><p>Light sits in the back seat with Viola and keeps her engaged.</p><p>He points out tourist attractions as they drive past, he starts conversations with her…</p><p>He very pointedly avoids or diffuses all attempts to discuss her previous life. The orphanage in Bulgaria? No. Her parents? No. The stuff toy she couldn’t bring? No.</p><p>But he does engage with her special interests; the areas wherein she has exhibited the startling intellect necessary to warrant a place at Wammy. Her proficiency for languages at a young age, her natural, unrefined, skill with music…</p><p>Viola lights up discussing her interested with an engaged adult and it does start to relax her as they drive out to the estate. Still she’s tried and too overwhelmed to meet all twenty-nine of the other children in House yet.</p><p>Light has a quiet, small, dinner with Viola in the kitchens as Matilda wipes them down for the night and then, little girl puffed up with a full belly, Light takes her to her new room to get settled.</p><p>“I don’t have pyjamas…” Viola murmurs meekly as Light sits her on the bed.</p><p>“Of course you do,” he smiles, pulling a brand new set out of the drawers. “See?”</p><p>Viola blinks.</p><p>Very soon she’ll enter that stage where Wammy stops being scary and starts feeling like a fairy tale. Then, eventually, even that will pass.</p><p>“We’re going to take care of you,” Light promises. “Would you like help getting changed?”</p><p>Viola nods weakly.</p><p>Business-like, practiced, Light helps her change and starts to tuck her into bed.</p><p>“Light…?” Viola murmurs.</p><p>“Yes Honey?” Light responds openly.</p><p>“Can John come here too?” She blurts.</p><p>Her little brother.</p><p>“The lady, back home, said he wasn’t allowed but—”</p><p>“Jonathon has a different home who need him,” Light lies fluidly. “But we need you here. This is your home. Jonathon will be okay, okay?”</p><p>“But…” Viola warbles, smart but still too small to totally articulate herself.</p><p>“This is all kind of scary and confusing, isn’t it?” Light invites gently.</p><p>Viola nods, fast and open.</p><p>“I was scared my first night here,” Light lies. “You know, I had a little sister, like you had a little brother.”</p><p>The past tense is subtle but pointed.</p><p>And, yes, that part is true.</p><p>Light did have a baby sister.</p><p>“What happened to her?” Viola murmurs desperately.</p><p>“She got adopted by a wonderful Japanese family,” Light smiles, “and I got to have a fantastic life here at the House. It was the best thing for both of us. I was scared back then but all the adults were looking out for us.”</p><p>Viola seems to try and process that but asking her to surrender her only family is daunting and unnatural.</p><p>It’s a process they force.</p><p>“You just need to trust us, okay?” Light encourages. “We’re looking out for what’s best for you and him.”</p><p>“I miss him.” Viola mumbles. “Do you think he misses me?”</p><p>Light smiles kindly. “Don’t worry Sweetie, he won’t miss you.”</p><p>It’s an awful thing to say, on one level, but the delivery, the confidence of an adult, is what makes the child doubt herself. She’s being strange for being upset. She’s being greedy and unreasonable. Never mind Light is gaslighting her. This is her new normal and they will coddle and pamper her but this is the price she has to pay and it’s steep.</p><p>“Time to sleep, Viola,” Light tucks her in, “big, exciting, day for us all tomorrow.”</p><p>He turns on the little night light mounted to the wall and shuffles, calmly, out of her room.</p><p>He knows she’s going to cry herself to sleep.</p><p>Most of them do.</p><p>Even the ones who have been in abusive conditions still find the shell shock too much to handle on their first night. She’ll be a zombie for a few days but then, slowly, her brain will start cooperating to protect itself.</p><p>Ryuk has asked Light about the intake process once.</p><p>
  <em>Do you ever feel guilty? </em>
</p><p>No, Light honestly doesn’t. It’s probably some of the most tangible proof he has that he’s a bad person. He doesn’t feel sympathy and empathy like he should. Not even for the children in his care. All he cares about is how they can service his big picture.</p><p>
  <em>Were you upset when it happened to you?</em>
</p><p>Light doesn’t remember it very well, honestly, but he knows he was emotionally unnatural before he arrived at the House.</p><p>
  <em>Do you ever miss your sister?</em>
</p><p>No, never. She wasn’t like him. She wasn’t equal. He doesn’t need her, and she serves no purpose in his current life. She can’t offer him anything tangible, so he doesn’t spare her much of a thought. She’s just an idea he uses to soothe the new assets.</p><p>She’d be sixteen now.</p><p>One day, when she’s eighteen, Light wonders if she’ll try and find him?</p><p>Sometimes family gets curious and tries that.</p><p>Sometimes they take younger siblings from a group and the elder siblings search desperately for them. But Wammy House makes that difficult for outsiders and rarely does the search develop any kind of long term connection.</p><p>Eden, one of the other graduates, told Light she had lunch with her biological older brother once. But it felt strange and jilted. He was too average to keep up with her and she was not what he remembered or had dreamt up. It wasn’t sustainable.</p><p>Light doesn’t really want to see his sister.</p><p>He doesn’t think so anyway.</p><p>Or is that just the House speaking for him…?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next chapter: L is mad and L arrives prepared this time</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Light has to come up with a new plan and they don’t have much time. The question that haunts him, that itches him awake at night, is this;</p><p>What are they going to do with Near?</p><p>Near is exceptionally intelligent and he is on the brink of realizing his full potential, that remains the fact regardless of the false start with L, but what are they going to do with him? Where will he be useful?</p><p>Near has become more attached to Light since their New York incident. Near has always been well behaved and leant on Light but there seems to be a new level of trust emblazoned in the teenager now that he’s tested Light by being difficult and Light has, seemingly, come to bat for him against all odds. Near feels safer with Light and he wants to make Light happy, more so than ever.</p><p>It’s a useful fact.</p><p>“So,” Light sits next to Near on the boy’s bed, his laptop on his thighs. “We’ve got to start thinking. What are we going to do with you?”</p><p>Light wants to be frank.</p><p>“I’m not sure what I want,” Near confesses, twirling his hair lazily. “I was always getting ready to work with L. I haven’t given what I want much examination.”</p><p>“Well,” Light taps away, bringing a sanitized version of Near’s profile in his personal records. “We know your social skills are pretty low. So something where you don’t have to deal with a lot of people is something we should consider.”</p><p>“Right,” Near hums, leaning over Light’s shoulder.</p><p>“Well, what do you enjoy?” Light encourages. “I know you like puzzles and devices. And there’s certainly an industry around design, manufacture and engineering. We can extend out like that.”</p><p>“I like to fidget but I don’t think I’d like designing,” Near puzzles out. “I like problem solving.”</p><p>“What else?” Light presses.</p><p>“I always liked forensics, in my detective training,” Near admits. “I held myself back from pursuing more information because it was starting to bite into my necessary training.”</p><p>“Why don’t we open that box?” Light suggests. “You’re taken basic high school chemistry and you enjoyed that a lot if I remember correctly?”</p><p>“I did,” Near admits, more to himself than anything.</p><p>“Why don’t we enrol you in some university level chemistry courses?” Light continues. “We can start with remote learning but if you like it we can move you closer to a university campus. From there you could pursue whatever speciality catches your interest.”</p><p>“I think I’d like that,” Near smiles, something simmering inside him.</p><p>There seems to be a relief in Near lately that is almost tangible.</p><p>“You seem much happier now, Near,” Light admits. “Were you dreading being a detective that badly?”</p><p>“I didn’t hate the theory,” Near shrugs, “and I didn’t want to complain or let anyone down.”</p><p>“Well let’s put you back on track towards something you will <em>love</em>.” Light winks. “Deal?”</p><p>Near smiles wider than Light’s seen him in years.</p><p>“Let’s have a look,” Light twists his laptop towards Near, “we can find a course you’re comfortable with.”</p><p>Near leans over his lap and—</p><p>“Light?” Rodger sticks his head in Near’s open bedroom door.</p><p>“Hmm?” Light glances, impatient.</p><p>He hates being interrupted.</p><p>This better be important.</p><p>“L, Watari and Mello are downstairs.” Rodger reveals.</p><p>“Already?” Light blurts.</p><p>He thought he’d have another few days before L came bashing down his door.</p><p>He thought Watari would talk him off the ledge or L would become distracted with another case.</p><p>Damn it.</p><p>Light sighs, forcing a smile. “We should go say hi, don’t you think Near?”</p><p>Near nods amicably.</p><p>“We’ll finish this later,” Light promises.</p><p>Tucking up his laptop Light let’s Near head downstairs so he can stash his tech in his office. Adjusting his shirt Light prepares himself.</p><p>This could be messy.</p><p>But what else is new?</p><hr/><p>Light joins everyone in the main foyer. Matt, Mello and Near are all over each other, clearly delighted to be reunited, and while Watari endears himself to new asset Viola on his hip Light is left to face the irritated beast.</p><p>L turns towards him, chin up.</p><p>“You might as well move back in if you’re going to visit this much.” Light teases casually.</p><p>“Want to go out?” L asks abruptly.</p><p>“Out…?” Light hesitates, taken back. “Out where?”</p><p>“Leave the kids and Watari here,” L grunts. “We’re still young men. When was the last time we got to hang out ourselves?”</p><p>“Don’t you want to sleep off your jet lag first?” Light supposes but he already knows the answer.</p><p>“I don’t sleep, remember?” L counters.</p><p>“I know,” Light sighs, amused but cautious. “Though I still don’t know if I should agree to this sudden idea,” he folds his arms, “clearly you have a scheme.”</p><p>“Clearly,” L doesn’t deny the fact.</p><p>“Well now I’m definitely not coming,” Light jokes.</p><p>Light loves fighting with L, he loves tormenting L, but when L is genuinely irritated and vengeful he’s a diabolical force and Light tends to avoid the heat of that wildfire until they’re back within games he can win.</p><p>L doesn’t seem to be willing to give him that option today.</p><p>“Come on, grab your coat,” L orders. “I’ll go pick a car.”</p><p>“The kids—”</p><p>“Watari,” L calls, “you’ve got everything under control?”</p><p>“Of course,” Watari smiles.</p><p>L turns to Light expectantly.</p><p>Light tries not to groan.</p><hr/><p>Light knows he’s got half an hour head start while they drive. So long as L has to sit in a standard position his ability to reason and therefore fight, argue, is reduced. Light needs to assert himself while the iron is hot on the drive into London.</p><p>“You know, L, I’m starting to wonder if maybe you got the wrong impression the other day on the phone.” Light chuckles amicably.</p><p>“And what idea is that?” L grunts.</p><p>“That I was doing something untoward,” Light tuts. “Looking back I can see why you might think that. It’s kind of embarrassing really. I didn’t realize until later but—”</p><p>“Light, I’ve known you since you were four years old.” L drawls. “You know the affable social chameleon act doesn’t work on me by now.”</p><p>Light withers.</p><p>Damn it.</p><p>“It was just a joke,” Light sighs, slumping lower in his seat. “You’re not actually upset, are you? Honestly?”</p><p>“I didn’t think it was funny.” L replies levelly. “Besides, you wanted to get under my skin. That’s why you did it.”</p><p>“Maybe that was ill advised.” Light shrugs. “What do you want me to do about it?”</p><p>“I’d let you apologize, which you haven’t,” L pointed out, “but you’ve never truthfully apologized for anything in your life. It’s one of the things I like about you.”</p><p>Light snorts. “So where are we even going, huh?”</p><p>“A new place.” L answers vaguely. “It’s not far. You’ll see.”</p><p>Light sighs, glancing out over the ambling countryside around the Wammy Estate.</p><p>They don’t drive for long, maybe ten minutes? The road L takes them down with the assist of the GPS is old and unpaved. There are craggy trees everywhere, unkempt fields, and when they ease to a stop and L hops out of the car Light is more confused than ever.</p><p>Following L out of the car Light comes to stand beside him regarding a ruin. Well, not a ruin exactly. The British Isles have a lot of crumbling castles. Some of them ancient. But very few people have the time or money to restore or maintain them. This was obviously a very illustrious estate once with a vast overrun garden and multiple wings.</p><p>“What am I looking at?” Light grunts, hand on his hip.</p><p>“A project.” L answers. “I’ve bought it.”</p><p>Light snorts, confused.</p><p>“I don’t know what I was expecting…” he admits. “Why did you buy a castle?”</p><p>“I want somewhere new to work. Not Wammy’s, my own place, but I want to be close to Wammy’s so I can still visit it every day or every other day while I consult on cases remotely for a while.”</p><p>Light frowns. “Why would you do that?”</p><p>“Maybe I’m homesick?” L suggests.</p><p>L lies.</p><p>“Don’t be stupid.” Light grumbles. “It’s a money pit.”</p><p>“Come have a look, it’s not so bad inside.” L beckons.</p><p>Groaning, irritated, Light trails after him.</p><p>Inside the damaged building, or however much of the building remains in one piece, Light swears. It is beautiful, he can’t deny that, but he’s not going to tell L that.</p><p>“It’s not even watertight,” he gestures to the gaping hole in the roof.</p><p>“That’s what tradesmen are for.” L shrugs.</p><p>“It’d be cheaper to tear it down and make something new.”</p><p>“I don’t want something new,” L tuts, “and I don’t care about price.”</p><p>Light huffs, crossing his arms.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” L smirks.</p><p>Light doesn’t say it.</p><p>But they both know he doesn’t like the idea of L in the country, long term, breathing over his shoulder.</p><p>They wander a little deeper into the property and, yes, there are good bones. This could be an exceptionally lovely home base for a reclusive detective. But Light still disapproves.</p><p>That said Light thinks he’s escaped the brunt of L’s wrath with this strategy. L has retaliated to his little stunt with Mikami by purchasing this property. The ball should, theoretically, be back in Light’s court. At least that’s what he thinks until they enter what used to be a hall where the ground is more dirt and thick grass than anything that could be called ‘flooring’ and L—</p><p>Light yelps.</p><p>He’s had some combat training, basic self-defence, but L actually uses his training and develops it regularly so when L sweeps his feet out from under him Light doesn’t have any recourse. Sprawled across the grass, blinking, Light gathers himself enough to get angry. He’s trying to surge back up, trying to sit, when L slams down over the top of him and pins his hands over his head.</p><p>“We need to have a discussion.” L deadpans.</p><p>Light strains, hissing, but can’t get any traction. “With you on top of me?” He snaps accusingly.</p><p>“With me on top of you, yes.” L nods, smirk audible but not visible.</p><p>“Get off.” Light growls.</p><p>“Kind of annoying when someone plays dirty, isn’t it?” L tuts.</p><p>“Alright, alright, I get it.” Light huffs, hair dishevelled, body taunt under L’s looming weight.</p><p>“No, I don’t think we’re perfectly clear yet.” L maintains.</p><p>Light twists, struggles, one last time but he can’t shake L.</p><p>He hates it but, for now, he surrenders to lying still and glares.</p><p>“You knew it would irritate me to hear you getting pleasured by some stranger.” L grunts. “That’s why you did it. Shall we have a discussion about why it upsets me?”</p><p>Light fumbles, lips moving around the lump of coal in this mouth.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>“No.” Light whispers tensely.</p><p>“We both know the answer.” L clarifies. “You knew it would piss me off and it did piss me off, so I know we’re both clear on what we’re not saying right now, but you don’t want to discuss it. Right?”</p><p>“Right.” Light barely breathes, frozen watching the steady lines of L’s face.</p><p>“Then we won’t discuss it.” L promises. But pressing his weight down into Light he lays their foreheads together and warns; “But don’t start this fight. Because next time I will escalate.”</p><p>Light has totally stopped breathing, frozen, aware of every tiny shift of L’s body.</p><p>His mind is a frantic, wordless, haze.</p><p>At this angle, in this position, it would be so easy for L to just…</p><p>But Light doesn’t want him to.</p><p>At least, Light thinks he doesn’t want him to…?</p><p>Honestly Light has never really been sure what he wants on this front. He knows, in his gut, what L wants but he doesn’t know his own decision and that terrifies him.</p><p>This is the looming terror unspoken; them a millimetre away from kissing.</p><p>Light’s nails bite into his palms and he has not air, can’t manage to inhale, but L sighs deeply over the top of him tickling his lips and then, slowly…</p><p>L eases back and off him, releasing him.</p><p>Light inhales sharply and jerks up into a sitting position.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Light fights the way his heart is pounding in his chest.</p><p>Calm.</p><p>Calm down.</p><p>L saunters a few feet away, hands stuffed in his pockets, slouching. He gives Light some space and, probably, needs a little air himself.</p><p>Light is gathering himself, coiling to strike, lash out, when their phones start ringing.</p><p>Light’s is first.</p><p>Light fumbles, head spinning, but presses the cell to his ear and barks; “What Rodger?”</p><p>Rodger fumbles to explain.</p><p>Light’s stomach drops.</p><p>But his heart never stops pounding.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: a disaster and the aftermath</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Light and L skip the House entirely and head straight to the hospital. L pulls a few ill advised driving manoeuvres but Light isn’t going to argue. They park somewhat illegally but two hand reared Wammy kids like they are aren’t afraid of paying a fine. Even if they get towed they have other cars they can use. It’s just not worth the extra ten minutes to find a legal spot.</p><p>Light feels all a fluster as they head into the hospital.</p><p>L hits the admissions desk first and tells the easiest, most digestible, lie for the plebeian nurses to process.</p><p>“Our father was brought into A&amp;E a few minutes ago,” he explains.</p><p>“Of course, name?” The nurse flutters.</p><p>“Quilish Wammy.” L taps the linoleum counter like he’s playing a piano.</p><p>“He’s with doctors right now.” The nurse explains. “I don’t have much information aside from that. If you’d have a seat I’ll let the doctor know you’re out here when they’re done.”</p><p>“Thanks,” L grunts, a little curt and absent minded.</p><p>Light tugs him to the cheap plastic chair and they sink down like stones.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>“Is Rodger--?” L glances, pulling his legs up onto the chair with him so he can think more clearly.</p><p>“I told him to stay with the kids so we can be here,” Light shakes head.</p><p>“So you can stay?” L supposes.</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” Light scoffs as that much should be obvious.</p><p>“Good,” L eases, relieved.</p><p>Light rubs his face. “This is so stupid. He’s healthy as a horse.”</p><p>“He does work very hard for someone his age.” L shrugs. “And he smokes a lot.”</p><p>“I thought he stopped?” Light blinks, twisting.</p><p>“I still catch him sometimes.” L grunts. “I think he just told us he stopped.”</p><p>Light groans, exasperated. “Sounds like Watari.”</p>
<hr/><p>They sit there for an hour or more. They’re too fretful and dazed to even look at their phones let alone make conversation. Light swallows the reoccurring bile in his throat.</p><p>Yes, he wants unquestioned authority over the House.</p><p>Yes, he doesn’t need Watari anymore.</p><p>But Watari is a comforting fixture of his life.</p><p>Just because he doesn’t need Watari doesn’t mean he wants Watari dead.</p><p>Watari’s insight, his experience, his connections… He’s useful.</p><p>He’s also the man who raised Light.</p><p>Light doesn’t get emotions like regular people experience them, not easily, but Watari is still family and that, whether he likes it or not, means something.</p><p>L is rocking slightly, mind churning.</p><p>Light keeps trying to stay still, perfectly still. He counts every breath. Matching the length of inhales to exhales. He maps his position sitting in the chair, taking note of every detail, and tries not to move, even unintentionally, unless its absolutely necessary which is usually when it becomes physically painful after long minutes.</p><p>A doctor comes out from the back, just another in the process. He talks to the nurse at the desk, voice soft, and Light doesn’t pay him much attention until the nurse gestures pointedly to Light and L in the corner.</p><p>L’s head perks up like a dog’s when the doctor comes towards them.</p><p>“Hi, it’s my understanding you’re Mister Wammy’s next of kin?” The doctor greets, peeling off his gloves tiredly.</p><p>“Yes,” Light clears his throat.</p><p>“Where is he?” L grunts, no time for pleasantries.</p><p>Light is afraid to ask.</p><p>But they need to know.</p><p>“I’m very sorry to tell you he passed.” The doctor replies, gentle but steady. “He put up a good fight, but his heart stopped again while we were working and we couldn’t get it to start again.”</p><p>Light feels something small, but real, twist irrevocably inside him.</p><p>L is very stiff, very quiet, eyes darting through a million avenues. He’s problem solving, he’s calculating, but Light knows neither of them are doctors and you can’t raise the dead.</p><p>Watari’s gone.</p><p>They’re orphans again.</p><p>The doctor gives them a moment to process, waiting.</p><p>“Can we see him?” Light asks, half out of routine.</p><p>“Of course, come with me,” the doctor invites.</p><p>Light shouldn’t have asked.</p><p>Watari looks so small and husk like with all the colour drained out of his cheeks. It’s an image Light isn’t going to be able to shift out of his mind for a long time.</p><p>L touches Watari’s hand, lingering at the edge of the gurney.</p><p>“Light,” he beckons.</p><p>Light shakes his head from the perimeter of the room.</p><p>He can’t touch dead things.</p><p>He wants the last time he touched Watari to be warm.</p><p>L doesn’t push it.</p><p>Light drifts back out of the room, leaning into his knees, head spinning.</p><p>He feels so sick.</p>
<hr/><p>They take Watari’s body to the morgue for holding while the estate organizes the funeral. L drives them back to the House.</p><p>Neither of them speak.</p><p>Light texts the details to Rodger and Bart before they get home and they agree with him that they should hold off telling the children until the morning. Light needs that as much as anything. He needs some air back in his lungs.</p><p>When they arrive to the House it’s dark and everyone is asleep.</p><p>Light doesn’t remember coming inside, coming up the stairs, slipping into L’s room and sitting on the edge of his bed. It’s not until L joins him on the edge of the mattress and starts taking his shoes off that Light even registers he’s still in his jacket.</p><p>Light purses his lips.</p><p>L sits beside him and, for another long moment, they stare at the wall.</p><p>“Damage control.” L murmurs, pulling his legs up, thumb half stuck into his mouth. “We need to run damage control.”</p><p>“Right,” Light nods.</p><p>“He updated his will recently.”</p><p>“It’s all watertight. What we agreed upon originally, mostly.” Light murmurs. “I get the House, the children, all that stuff…”</p><p>“I get the international properties.” L nods. “Most of the big tech; the helicopter, the jet, the boat.”</p><p>“He had those trinkets, in the safe, to split up between us and some of the graduates.” Light remembers absently.</p><p>“All other assets to be liquidated, funds split between you and me,” L finishes stating what they both already know.</p><p>Watari was well prepared for his mortality.</p><p>He got everything hashed out in writing a long time ago. It’ll take very little time to settle and both of them will walk away stupendously rich. Richer than they are right now.</p><p>Light will have unprecedented authority in the House.</p><p>He’ll be the primary legal custodian of all the children.</p><p>Why doesn’t he feel happy?</p><p>Light feels something roll over inside him.</p><p>Petulant stubbornness becomes fierce, needed, surrender in an instant.</p><p>“You shouldn’t leave the country until we get everything settled,” Light finds himself saying out loud.</p><p>“No, of course,” L agrees.</p><p>“If Watari’s gone then—” Light fumbles, trying to clear his addled head. “I think the quickest you can organize a courthouse marriage is thirty days?”</p><p>“We have to give notice twenty-nine days before.” L nods mechanically. “But we don’t have to rush that. It would be okay if—” L starts backtracking.</p><p>“No,” Light stops him abruptly, hands curled into fists in lap. “If something happens to me or you now, without Watari around…” Light can’t finish the sentence but if he sounds half as mortified, half as <em>scared</em>, as he feels then L should get the picture.</p><p>L closes his mouth and focuses on a spot on the wall.</p><p>“Right,” L submits, voice clear and subtly determined. “We’ll take care of this, of the others, of each other.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Light murmurs, nails still biting into his palms.</p><p>Pushing L away, playing games, is fine and fun until Light is genuinely terrified.</p><p>Then, at that awful point, the claws all shift direction and they are a stupid, broken, family.</p><p>Light can depend on that at least.</p>
<hr/><p>Light sits the children down to explain it to them in the morning. He knows how he’s going to sell this to them. He knows, developmentally, where they all are and how they’re travelling. He’s going to keep things short and simple, simple enough for the youngest to grasp, and he’ll meet privately with the older children to rub more balm into the wound while he explains to the smallest, over the next few weeks, about the reality of death. For some of them this is the first time they’ve ever lost someone.</p><p>Light has his game face on, mask firm on his perfect face, and he smiles at a carefully calibrated place meant to convey pain, love and resolve all at once.</p><p>He can do this.</p><p>“You all know Watari had to go to hospital yesterday,” Light starts.</p><p>“Is he okay?” Mello blurts out all at once. “Was it serious?”</p><p>“No, it…” Light’s eyes flicker to L in the back of the room. “Watari passed away last night.”</p><p>Viola clearly doesn’t quite understand but she’s only met Watari once so her distress will not be weighty and present until she starts feeding off the atmosphere of the older children.</p><p>Mello, meanwhile, looks devastated.</p><p>Near slumps into the floor, painfully quiet, and pulls his knees into his chest.</p><p>“We’re going to have a funeral in the next few days,” Light explains softly, “so we’ll all get a chance to say goodbye. All the graduates who can are going to fly home to pay their respects. We’ll all remember Watari, and how good he was, as a family.”</p><p>What a fucking lie.</p><p>Light loved Watari, angry and small, but Watari was not a good man. He was a pragmatic man. He believed in the big picture. In resource management.</p><p>But, damn, he was good at faking nice.</p><p>Light hopes people will find his act so convincing they’ll miss him half as much one day.</p><p>“But…” Matt wheezes, laughing emptily. “We’re all going to be okay, right Light…?”</p><p>It’s an easy question.</p><p>Light just has to say yes.</p><p>They will be fine.</p><p>Things will be different, but life will go on.</p><p>They’ll adjust.</p><p>Light opens his mouth, ready to smooth out an easy lie, but something about the simplicity of it starts crumbling the fake, compassionate, smile off his face.</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Light hears his voice warble. “We’ll…”</p><p>He takes a breath.</p><p>And for the first time in years Light loses control of his mask.</p><p>The next thing he knows he’s crying.</p><p>Ugly, fat, stupid tears start ripping out of him.</p><p>The children, to whom he is a backbone, audibly start to panic.</p><p>Light needs to stop. He needs to shut up. He needs to get himself together, damn it.</p><p>But he can’t stop sobbing into his hands.</p><p>L surges forward from the back of the room and Light can hear him talking to the kids.</p><p>“Of course, we’re all going to stick together,” L promises firmly. “We’re all going to be sad, that’s normal, and you’re all allowed to be sad. We’re all going to miss Watari. But we’re all going to take care of each other.”</p><p>Light curls into his knees, blubbering still.</p><p>Stupid.</p><p><em>Stupid</em>.</p><p>“We’re a family,” L continues, “life will change but things will be okay.”</p><p>Light feels hands, closeness, but jerking his head up he finds Near and Mello, not L.</p><p>Mello sits on the arm of his chair, hand curling into his shirt between his shoulder blades like an anchor and Near, still on the floor, fishes up one of Light’s hands and holds it very tight between his.</p><p>For the first time, probably ever, Light surrenders to being a failure for a few minutes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: things change, things stay the same, life goes on....</p><p>And then L meets Mikami.</p><p>AN: Little early this week! I'll be busy tomorrow so I thought early would be fun &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The funeral is very austere. Opulent in a way only the rich can be but private in a way afforded to seldom few figures with as much sway and clout as Watari. The graduates fly in, almost twenty of them, and they all commiserate as good family should. They’ve been trained to be polite enough not to ask about the inheritance. They’ve all be set up with good lives and realistic expectations about the fortune.</p><p>Arthur pats L between the shoulders, making a joke.</p><p>Eden is the first one to tell Light; “you’re going to do great. There’s no one better in the world to run the House. Watari always knew you were the best person for the job.”</p><p>Yeah, because no one who genuinely loved the children could carry out the maintenance of this sweat shop.</p><p>Two days after the funeral, when they announce the death publicly to associates and such the flowers start pouring in and Light gets a text from Mikami that reads;</p><p>[I’m sorry for your loss, Light. If you ever want to talk my door is open.]</p><p>Light doesn’t reply.</p><p>Mikami is a fuck toy.</p><p>This isn’t his business.</p><p>Matt leaves for MIT the following week and, strangely, his absence pains Light in a softly uncomfortable way. He usually doesn’t care. The children are leaving to do what he bought them for, right? So…</p><p>L stays at the House. Light organizes to give he and Mello some proper space so they can consult on cases together. Without Watari to pick up the slack L starts to give more to Mello and the boy takes to it like a fish to water. Never complains. Actually despite how tired he looks he seems happier than Light’s ever seen him.</p><p>Near enrols, mid-year, in an advanced chemistry course and, likewise, seems happy. He seeks Light out more often these days. To update him on progress, to ask him things, sometimes just to sit with him. More than once Near asks to study in Light’s office, with him, despite the plethora of warm, comfortable, places around the House. Light suspects he’s more the draw than the privacy of the space and that’s…</p><p>Light’s not sure how he feels about that.</p><p>Exactly thirty days after the funeral, in July, Light and L make the trip to the nearest courthouse. Light looks nice only on account of the fact he always looks nice. L meanwhile is in his regular jeans and baggy top ensemble. L’s looked a little messier lately as he adjusts to having to remember to care for himself without Watari’s pestering but he’s getting there.</p><p>The woman at the courthouse seems a little bemused when they walk in and downright perplexed when they explain they’re there to get married. It takes less than an hour all up, in and out, with their certified documents and such.</p><p>They have to use their birthnames on the certificate and, briefly, the clerk asks if either of them will be amending their surname.</p><p>Light hesitates, glancing.</p><p>They haven’t discussed that.</p><p>“We’re hyphenating it.” L answers, seemingly off the top of his head. “Lawliet-Yagami, right?” He glances back to Light.</p><p>Light teeters for a split second before decided; “yeah, right.”</p><p>He can agree to that. He’s never been attached to his surname anyway. It’ll just make things easier for them long term when they’re switching over ‘next of kin’ and so on.</p><p>The next few days Light has Rodger submit all their paperwork to change their names on licenses, bank accounts, etc. Records are updated and Light knows he’ll need to amend his own will, long term, but for now he’s content with the simplest <em>‘it all goes to L’</em> option in the event of his untimely death. L seems to agree.</p><hr/><p>Life goes on.</p><p>Things hit a new normal, albeit a temporary one.</p><p>Mid July they have to make a visit to the legal firm, Swan and Tuck, in London to settle the final details of Watari’s will now the estate has been processed. Light struts into the office with L behind him and Mikami flutters out to greet him.</p><p>“Light, great to see you,” Mikami flushes, “how are you?”</p><p>“Fine, thank you, Mikami.” Light deflects lazily. “Mikami this is—”</p><p>“I’m his husband,” L inserts himself, offering a cold hand to Mikami.</p><p>It’s a guess.</p><p>L can’t know Mikami is the one Light’s been sleeping with, but L is a keen detective after all and in the split second where the realization hits his face Mikami gives it all away. There’s a rush of <em>‘oh fuck</em>’ on his face and as quickly as Mikami stifles it the game has been lost. L’s got to be certain now.</p><p>Light tries not to cuss.</p><p>“Mister Lawliet,” Mikami fumbles, shaking his hand. “What a pleasure to finally meet you.”</p><p>“And you,” L smirks. “Light always says such good things about your work ethic.”</p><p>“Ah—well—” Mikami tries to stabilize. “Thank you, that’s very kind. Shall we head to my office?”</p><p>“Sounds good.” L nudges them along.</p><p>In Mikami’s neatly furnished office they take their seats. Light crosses his legs primly, totally aloof, but he’s prepared for L to twist the knife a little. </p><p>“So the estate has been settled,” Mikami assures, “no disputes, no issues.”</p><p>“That’s good to hear,” L nods.</p><p>“From the things locked in the vault everything else has been distributed to Mister Wammy’s other adopted children but these were set aside for you both.” Mikami gestures to two boxes wrapped in butcher’s paper stacked against the wall. “They’re labelled. Mister Wammy had them wrapped some time ago it seems, and he was very clear they were not be opened or disturbed in anyway before being given to you so I honestly have no idea what’s inside but they’re… heavy.”</p><p>L smirks softly.</p><p>Light snorts.</p><p>Typical Watari.</p><p>“Anything else?” Light supposes.</p><p>“The funds are out of limbo. The liquid portion of the estate is being transferred to you over the next twenty-four hours.”</p><p>“Everything that needed to be liquidated was?” Light checks.</p><p>“Yes, everything.” Mikami promises. “And it would be unwise to give you an exact number here but, needless to say, the final amount in the estate was <em>considerable</em>. That said, I’m sure you’d rather have Mister Wammy than money.”</p><p>“Exactly.” L grunts, tapping his kneecap with his fingers.</p><p>“Now that you two have, uh, legally married,” Mikami broaches the subject awkwardly, straightening his glasses on his nose. “Is there anything else you’d like to discuss? You are some of our most valued clients and we want you to have peace of mind, especially in these deeply emotional times.”</p><p>“That’s very kind of you Mikami, I’m sure Light’s appreciated your support while I’ve been out of the country,” L tuts levelly.</p><p>Mikami’s poker face is not exceptional, to say the least.</p><p>He looks sick.</p><p>“Thank you, Sir,” Mikami murmurs weakly.</p><p>Light clenches his teeth.</p><p>“Actually,” L pops his lips lazily, “I was thinking dinner. Known anywhere good, nearby, with a good drinks and dessert menu? You know, the kind of place you’d take a good looking date?”</p><p>Light rolls his eyes.</p><p>Mikami laughs awkwardly. “There’s a lovely place called Chateau, I can get you the address?”</p><p>“Yes, you do that.” L smirks, revelling in Mikami’s discomfort.</p><p>“Don’t be an asshole.” Light sighs out loud. “You’re so transparent.”</p><p>Mikami looks terrified.</p><p>“He’s a good lawyer, what’re you going to do? Throw a tantrum?” Light challenges.</p><p>“I’m just curious,” L shrugs. “While we’re on the subject, Mikami, do you sleep with all your clients? Is it like a hobby or is it just the really rich ones?”</p><p>“Sir, I don’t know what you mean,” Mikami deflects pitifully.</p><p>“Spare me.” L deadpans.</p><p>“You’re so dramatic.” Light huffs. “Stop making a scene.”</p><p>“I don’t suppose you know Light very well yet, Mikami,” L strikes up conversationally, “but I do. I’ve had the good fortune of knowing him since he was very small. The—”</p><p>“Stop it.” Light warns.</p><p>“The funny thing about Light,” L continues unhindered, “is that he’s such a social chameleon but, deep down, he really hates people. You’d never guess it, right? But that’s the inherent skill. He can use people till they’re dried up and helpless and they’ll thank him. It really is impressive.”</p><p>Mikami swallows stiffly.</p><p>“It’s one of the things I enjoy about him so much.” L grins. “He’s ruthless.”</p><p>Light huffs and snaps; “Mikami why don’t you go grab my coat? Mister Lawliet and I were just leaving.”</p><p>“Uh—Yes, of course.” Mikami hurries up, desperate for an escape out of the office.</p><p>Light can almost hear his heart pounding as he exits into the hall and leaves L and Light alone in his office.</p><p>“Stop it.” Light hisses.</p><p>“I didn’t think he’d be your type,” L scratches his jaw lazily, “he’s so…”</p><p>“I am entitled to sleep with whoever I want.” Light snaps. “Weren’t you the one who told me not to start this fight?”</p><p>“I’m not trying to fight with you,” L assures, “I’m just asserting myself over someone else. Am I not entitled to that?”</p><p>“If we’re not going to discuss it, and we’re not, then you’re not entitled to any portion of my sex life.” Light puts his foot down firmly. “Now help me get the boxes, we’re leaving.”</p><p>Mikami looks relieved to see the back end of them and Light wonders if he’ll ever get another ill-advised text from the lawyer again. Does L have to ruin all his fun? Light supposes he was owed it for his stunt but…</p><p>When they’re in the car L takes the wrong turn off.</p><p>“What are you doing now?” Light grumbles, leaning against the passenger window.</p><p>“I was serious back there,” L grunts, “I really do want to go somewhere nice for dinner.”</p><p>“You’re insufferable,” Light groans.</p><p>“This Chateau place really any good?” L asks casually.</p><p>“The desserts won’t meet your standards,” Light sighs knowingly, “turn left. We’ll got to Beatrix.”</p><p>“Sounds perfect.” L smirks softly.</p><p>Bastard.</p><hr/><p>They get a private booth in the VIP portion of the restaurant. The kind that has a privacy screen and softly playing music and security milling around so no paparazzi make a scene. Light scans the menu while L takes off his shoes under the table and when the waiter arrives Light grunts;</p><p>“French champagne. Something good. I’ll have the ravioli. He wants the raspberry cheesecake. Bring them out at the same time.”</p><p>The waiter blinks but recovers. “Yes Sir.”</p><p>Light’s sure that ranks low on the list of strange requests they likely receive at a place like this. It’s kind of why he likes it. He’s not the most unreasonable brat in the building.</p><p>“Mello seems to be adjusting well,” Light remarks.</p><p>“He really is taking to it,” L nods. “His deductive skills are not as well developed as Near’s but he has the passion to learn more and the drive to work hard. I think he’ll make a first-class detective in no time.”</p><p>“I was a little irritated originally,” Light admits what they both know, “but in retrospect I think you made the right decision. It suits him better.”</p><p>“Near seems happier in general,” L nods. “I suppose not being locked into a box and forced to fit there will do that to you.”</p><p>“Yes, I have to ask though,” Light rues, “Watari was the one who wanted you to have a successor in the first place. Now he’s gone do you even…?”</p><p>“It’s a lot of work, assistance is practical,” L shrugs. “Mello is trustworthy and passionate. I’m happy to have him right now. I don’t know if we’ll always work together or if he’ll succeed me necessarily, even if he’ll <em>want</em> to when he has his own reputation one day, but for now I’m content.”</p><p>Light nods, digesting that.</p><p>“And you?” L tilts his head.</p><p>“Hmm?” Light blinks as the waiter finishes putting their food on the table.</p><p>“Are you content?” L wonders.</p><p>Light tries not to sneer like L just took a shit on the table.</p><p>What an awful question.</p><p>“I’m never content,” Light picks up his champagne tersely.</p><p>“What would it take?” L probes. “What are you missing?”</p><p>“Does it matter?” Light grunts.</p><p>“Play the game.” L directs.</p><p>“Why should I?” Light scoffs.</p><p>“Because, as much as we fight, I do genuinely want you to be happy.” L kicks down the mounting tension with an abrupt, painful, moment of honesty.</p><p>Light hides behind his wine glass for another moment.</p><p>He can’t make eye contact.</p><p>“Before the funeral,” L murmurs, starting to dissect his cheesecake. “I’ve never seen you cry like that.”</p><p>“I’m not sure what that was,” Light confesses, picking up his fork. “I’m not the kind of person to break down.”</p><p>“No, you’re not,” L agrees, “but honestly the weird thing is that it’s probably the healthiest reaction to pain you’ve ever had.”</p><p>Light hesitates.</p><p>“You think?” He glances.</p><p>“When children are frustrated or overwhelmed, they cry. It’s an instinctive reflex. Baby animals learn how to run within hours. Human babies learn to cry because, developmentally, their key skill to master is to ask for help.” L elaborates. “You’ve never done that. You withdraw deeper and deeper into yourself and then, when you can’t go any deeper, you explode into the cruellest rages.”</p><p>Light hates being put up to a mirror like this.</p><p>He can’t deny that but…</p><p>“Well,” he dismisses with a laugh, “we both know I’m an awful person. We’ve known that for years.”</p><p>“You’re not an awful person, Light,” L replies firmly. “You just experience the world differently. We both do. My peculiarities we managed to problem solve but you’ve always been better at masking your dysfunction than me. So much so that Watari didn’t see all of it.”</p><p>“No, Watari didn’t care,” Light snaps weakly.</p><p>L pauses, not reacting, just waiting.</p><p>“He was focused on you, he always was,” Light murmurs. “Watari cared about me, I know, but he judged our health, our success, in different metrics. Sure, all my emotions are fake but I’m Watari’s idea of successful, so by his assessment I was thriving. He was the same with you; your dysfunction was only ever solved when it impeded your abilities to <em>perform</em>.”</p><p>L pokes at his cheesecake.</p><p>“I loved Watari,” he repeats, “but I know you’re right.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Light sighs, “we can love him without thinking he was perfect, right?”</p><p>“Right,” L agrees. “But my question stands; what would make you content?”</p><p>Light, for the first time in a long time, stews on that for a moment.</p><p>“My gut reaction?” Light poses, fingers rubbing into the fork.</p><p>L encourages him with a jerk of his jaw.</p><p>“Beyond always used to call me Kira, do you remember that?” Light asks.</p><p>“The name you never had,” L nods. “He used it almost to name your alter ego, when you got spiteful, when you lashed out.”</p><p>“Kira is more the real me than anything else,” Light murmurs, “not hiding, not lying, just brilliant displays of greed and wrath. I think…”</p><p>Light sighs.</p><p>“I wonder, mostly,” he backtracks, “would I be happier if I found a way to be honest, to be myself, without crumbling the whole world around me?”</p><p>“There’s something very normal about wanting to express yourself authentically,” L replies. “I think you should try.”</p><p>“What if I break everything?” Light hesitates.</p><p>“I’ll fix it.” L answers. “I promise.”</p><p>“What if I don’t know how to be honest?” Light hunches a little deeper over his plate. “What if I don’t know where to start?”</p><p>“Well…” L chews on the edge of his fork. “When do you most feel like yourself? Like Kira? But not when you’re angry, when you’re calm but safe. When do you feel closest to the surface without being forced there?”</p><p>Light chews on that but the answer comes surprisingly quickly.</p><p>“Do I have a budget for this project?” He asks.</p><p>“Of course,” L grins.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next time: Project "Get Light to Express Himself" involves some preparation and the importation of a dangerous animal. You'll see what I mean.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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